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Good News Week

Tony Talibano (GNW 21/9/09: Up-Cut)

A study of the Taliban has revealed they are less like a group of Islamic crusaders and more like the mafia depicted in “The Sopranos”. So they’re inept, infighting, backstabbing and psychologically insecure – should be a piece of piss to defeat them!

A study of the Taliban has revealed they are less like a group of Islamic crusaders and more like the mafia depicted in “The Sopranos”. Which is great news – it’s been ever-so easy to defeat the Mafia.

A study of the Taliban has revealed they are less like a group of fundamentalist Islamic crusaders and more like the mafia depicted in “The Sopranos”. With one small difference – they are ALSO fundamentalist Islamic crusaders.

They’re just like the Sopranos. Except they’re Muslim, fundamentalist, and actually exist.

The story of the Taliban would be a great television programme. Except that no-one’s come up with an ending.

It was better when the Taliban ran Afghanistan. At least they weren’t criminals.

It also explains Mullah Mohammed Omar’s nickname – the Allahfather.

The Taliban may have wiped out opium production when they were in charge, but now they’re being funded by it. Gee, lucky for them druglords don’t hold grudges.

The Taliban have been getting closer to the mafia ever since they began hanging out with “Big Al” Qaeda.

They’re not actually in league with al-Qaeda – it’s Al Capone!

The Taliban control the production and accessibility of opium. And unlike our government, it doesn’t just stick to morphine and codeine. In fact, it’s really worth trying their Panadeine Fortissimo. / Just like our government tries to do, just far more successfully.

Of course, the Taliban and the mafia have long been in cahoots. That’s why the Taliban originally banned opium production – all the more business for the mob!

By Wok and Mat

Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.

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