Glass House

Communist Plot (The Glass House 21/6/06)

A late French butcher has left his house and land to the local council on condition that they be used to prepare for the communist revolution. That’s right, it’s a communist plot! Of land.

The council has agreed to immediately take steps towards communism; they’ve forced peasants to till the man’s land so they can start burying dissenters.

He left his property to the council to prepare for communism. They can write the Manifesto in his lounge room, the garage can be used to consolidate the means of production, and the bourgeoisie can be imprisoned in the attic. / and the bourgeoisie can be beheaded in the petunia garden.

Shouldn’t he have left an equal share of his property to everyone? Capitalist swine.

And when the revolution comes, the town can use his old butcher’s equipment to behead the bourgeoisie – so long as they’re no bigger than a pig. / – and make them into tasty sausages! / – and sell them for 7 bucks a kilo!

The council has decided instead to embrace a military-based dictatorship – and seize the land by force anyway. Take that, dead guy!

He left his property to the council on the proviso that it was used to overthrow the council. Quite a quandary for the council, eh?

He was planning a modest revolution – just his house would be communist.

He was apparently a big fan of Stalin, Mao and Kim Jong-Il. In fact, they were the guys that originally inspired him to get into butchering…

He donated his butcher’s shop to the cause of capitalism. All he really wanted was his own little cold war.

By Wok

Warwick Holt is a highly experienced, award-winning screenwriter, who has written for many of Australia’s top comedians and presenters, and the Emperor of this here Media Empire.

Leave a Reply