The Grumpy Opera House (The Glass Huse 5/7/06)

A global politeness survey has found that Sydney ranks among the rudest cities of the 35 surveyed, well below cities like New York, Paris and Auckland. Yeah, well those dickslaps can get rooted.

Anyone who thinks Sydney is rude can go and get farked.

Sydney is in general much ruder than other cities due to its high levels of rugby.

Sydneysiders performed poorly on tests including helping people pick up dropped papers and monitoring how often shop assistants said “thank you”. In fact the most common expression they heard was “pick up your papers, dickhead”.

Sydneysiders performed poorly on tests including helping people pick up dropped papers and monitoring how often shop assistants said “thank you”, but did score well on how often shop assistants dropped papers.

Sydneysiders performed poorly on tests monitoring how often shop assistants said “thank you”, but scored well on how often shop assistants said “fuck you”.

It’s obviously rubbish; Sydney’s got a great reputation, from the Sydney Olympics to the Cronulla Riots. (Or, as we like to remember them, “the Friendly Riots”.)

I guess, when you look at it, the Opera House is a just a bunch o’ fives, Centrepoint is a giant flipped bird, and the Harbour Bridge is like a coathanger for your rude coat!

In honour of the results, the Harbour Bridge is being renamed the Harboured Grudge.

The article refers to New Yorkers as “power-obsessed”, Parisians as “arrogant”, and people from Auckland are called “socially-inept”. It’s actually one of the rudest articles I’ve ever read. No surprise the article was written by a Sydneysider…

For being so rude, Sydney is now going to have to wash its bay out with soap.

For being so rude, Sydney is going to get a good spanking. Unfortunately the punishment date coincides with Mardi Gras, so no-one will know if it’s a punishment or a celebration…

But we’re not really rude, we just say it how it is. Like, if we’re too busy to help some stupid prick pick up their dumb papers, we just say so!

But is it really rude to tell some stupid fuck to fuck the fuck off? I thought I was just making conversation. (So, if you were offended, I apologise, Your Majesty.)

Face it, Sydneysiders are rude. You ever seen a show called “The Glass House”? Those cunts are rude as fuck.

Melbourne people responded by saying that Sydneysiders were giving the rest of Australia a bad rep, and the results would have been very different if they’d tested Melbourne instead. Melbourne mayor John So was quoted as saying “Up yours, ya rude Sydney arseholes!”

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