50 years of TV and this is the best we can do? (The Glass House 13/9/06)

Back in the days when “Big Brother” was in a book, the only “Simpson” we knew had a donkey, and a “remote control” was the Queen, television was born…

Aussie TV turns fifty in three days time! And Bert is still the best we can do.

TV’s 50 – another ten years and it gets to retire. Thank God.

Its children, VHS and DVD, have moved out of home, while little Internet is still stuck at home with a virus.

From “Number 96” to “Big Brother”, it’s been 50 years of chicks flashing their tits.

At the celebrations they’ll have to blow out 50 Logies.

It’ll be hard for TV to blow out 50 candles, since it mostly SUCKS.

Funniest Home Videos: 50 years of seeing playground equipment injure small children.

As well as celebrating long-running shows like “Hey Hey” and “Neighbours”, we like to celebrate the shortest running shows, like “Jasmine’s Getting Married”, “The Master”, and “Ray Martin Fights A Pig”.

So brace yourself for weeks of self-congratulatory retrospectives and dusted-off has-beens. Hey! That was our idea for a show!

It’s good to see all these retrospectives – anything to keep Bud Tingwell and Craig McLaughlin employed.

The grand highlight of the celebrations will be when they bring Graham Kennedy back to life! And if that goes well, they’re thinking of doing Bert too!

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