Italian pollies dope dupes (The Glass House 25/10/06)

An Italian TV satire program sprung a surprise hidden drug test on the country’s parliamentarians – and found that 16 out of 50 had taken cocaine or cannabis in the last 36 hours. It’s a slightly misleading statistic as the tests were conducted the day after “Pollies Week”.

The program told the pollies that they were going to be debating the budget, but then applied “make-up” consisting of chemicals that could detect drugs in the sweat on a participants’ skin. Confronted with the findings, the Treasurer said, “Sure dude, but when’s the budget debate starting?”

In response, politicians have invited the TV show’s crew into parliament for mock interviews, and, while applying makeup, have bashed their heads in with a brick. The pranksters!

“Cocaine’s a drug?”

100% tested positive for Parmesan / Prosciutto / Parmigiana.

“Mariujana? I thought that oregano tasted funny – but so very moreish.”

It illustrated the hypocrisy of the country’s zero tolerance anti-drug laws, according to a member of the Green Party. Heh heh. Green. Get it? Man I’m hungry.

The program screens on right-wing PM Sergio Berlusconi’s network. Just coincidence…

The Justice Minister was invited to be a part of the program, but had to decline as he was picking up a big shipment.

Politicians defended their zero tolerance drug laws. “If we legalise drugs, how are we going to make any profit dealing them?” / “If we legalise drugs, our profits from selling them goes way down.”

“Lucky we weren’t being tested for prostitutes and rentboys!”

It wasn’t the politicians fault: if they didn’t deal drugs, Big Tony was gunna kneecap ’em.

Of course, that could never happen here. And it’s much easier to test for drugs than to test for being a warmongering fuck-knuckle.

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