Kerri-Anne accepts Keef’s Award for Eksalince in the field of Entertainment (The Glass House 29/11/06)

Wow. What a great honour. Who needs a stupid Logie? Up yours, TV Week.

And to get an award in the field of Entertainment – well, it’s great to finally recognised as an Entertainer, just like I always told Mum I’d be.

I’d just like to thank my friends and family for filling out the voting forms, and of course God. I mean Eddie.

When was the last time Bert got one of these, huh?

Who would’ve thought all those years ago when I started on the Dolphin Rodeo Show, that I’d end up here, at the death of a crappy ABC panel program?

It sure makes a change from my show on Channel Nine. And can I just say that this award has been brought to us by our dear friends at the Glasshouse DVD, on sale in all good music shops everywhere!

I mean, I know I’m supposed to be passing this on to Keef and all, but, you’ll never tell him, will you? It’ll look so good on the shelf next to the fake Logies.

Unfortunately Keef can’t make it tonight, but he has sent me some riffs that he’d like to play for you all. Dum-dum da-da-dum da-da-da-dum! (ie. Satisfaction) Now that’s entertainment.

Keef can’t make it tonight due to severe brain injury, but he has sent through a speech: (reading) “Who ashed in me bourbon? Where’s me fuckin scag? And who the fuck are you? Get out, ya fuckin cunt!” Well, I think there’s something we can all learn from that.

Keef can’t make it tonight, but he’s asked if I could show him my tits. I told him to go and get fucked.

So, do I have to give this back now?

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