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Pupils ‘should mark teachers’ (The Glass House 10/8/05)

Democrats leader Lyn Allison has suggested that just as teachers grade students, high school students should in turn mark teachers. A typical report will read “D-minus – seems to know the subject but didn’t hand in one piece of homework”.

A typical report will read “D-minus – Hangs around the front acting like a know-it-all”.

Students, if you really want to mark teachers, I recommend rubber bands and rocks.

The Australian Teachers’ Union has responded “I’m sorry, the Demo-whats?”

Lyn Allison ought to know – she used to be a teacher. She took over a class from Mr. Bartlett, who replaced Miss Stott-Despoja, filling in for Ms. Lees. That was a busy semester.

Students are in the best position to know whether they’re learning or not. In fact while they’re at it, they might as well write their own reports too.

Not only should pupils have to mark teachers, but they should have to go to all the school council meetings, get a diploma in education, and be about 10 years older.

The teachers are happy with the idea: at the end of the year, they get to pelt the students with rotten eggs.

At parent teacher nights, the parents ask the kids how well they’ve been doing, while the teachers fidget with their pigtails, chew gum, and demand to go home coz they’re like so bored.

17% of students said they’d like to see more male teachers… and 56% said they’d rather see less teachers, regardless of gender.

The move has resulted in fewer excursions to the Museum, but more than twice as many to Timezone.

A spokesman for the teachers’ union said the proposal was “like totally lame”.

Teachers who get low marks have to teach the subject again until they get it right…

In a desperate tangent, voters are now able to mark politicians. That’s why everyone put a 1 in Howard’s box last election; they thought it was out of ten…

Kindergarten kids are now being asked to evaluate their teachers too; one kinder teacher was rated elephant, finger-painting and clag smear.

By Wok and Mat

Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.

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