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10 year old muscle girl (Good News Week 4/8/08: Giving Headline)

A body-building competition has generated controversy when they recently let a bikini-clad 10 year-old girl enter. Community groups are up in arms – body-building could ruin all her chances of being a lingerie model. / body-building could ruin all her chances of looking totally hot.

There’s nothing wrong with young girls flexing their abs in bikinis on stage. It’s only if you photograph them that it becomes perverse.

Now come on. The place for 10 year old girls is in Bill Henson exhibitions.

Come on, it’s not as if she’s being sexualised. She’s more being exhibited as a freak.

Little Maugham Wellham is apparently a total fitness freak. Well, she’s a freak, anyway.

Little Maugham Wellham is apparently a total fitness freak. She does push-ups, crunches, squats, and running. And sometimes, when she’s finished all that, she’s allowed to play outside with the other kids.

Little Maugham Wellham does push-ups, crunches, squats, and runs, although she’s not allowed to lift weights. That’d just be weird.

Her mum says that “I think that it’s very irresponsible to put a child on weights.” Because putting a child onstage in a bikini to show off her body is the pinnacle of responsibility.

Her mum says that “I think that it’s very irresponsible to put a child on weights.” She’d much rather put her child on steroids.

Her mum says Maughan is a fitness fanatic who runs, does push-ups and squats, but doesn’t use weights, as that would be irresponsible. She only believes in responsible objectification. / The responsible way for young children to build muscles is steroids.

But according to experts, body-building before puberty can ruin the normal development of muscles. She may win awards when she’s 10, but by the time she’s 15, she’ll look like the Incredible Hulk. / Quasimodo.

Apparently when she showed her abs and thighs, the crowd erupted. Though they kept it in their pants.

I don’t have a problem with the parents getting their kids into body building contests. I just wish they’d realise she’s much too ugly to have a career in it.

She got the idea from playing with her “Bratz on Steroidz” dolls. / “Bulk-up Barbie” and “Absculpted Ken”.

But if this becomes a trend, we’ll see more and more bodybuilding girls. And if they want a pony, they’ll be getting a pony. / you give them a pony.

But if this becomes a trend, we’ll see more and more bodybuilding girls. Those pillow-fights are gunna be lethal.

But if this becomes a trend, we’ll see more and more bodybuilding girls. And what a great future society we’ll live in, with both sexes being useless meatheads.

In the future, girls vs boys will be no holds barred. / the battle of the sexes will be no holds barred.

Bodybuilding’s perfect for a young girl. Not only does it help develop a total obsession with body image, but it really helps you become reliant on steroids!

She was drug-tested after the event – apparently she had suspiciously high levels of red cordial. / you never know what her parents are putting in that red cordial.

She’s not so much beefcake as veal. / vealscone.

Of course Arnold Schwarzenegger would never have gotten where where he is today if he hadn’t have started body-building when he was a young girl.

But it’s just not appropriate to have a 10-year-old up there in a bikini. She’s got no tits!

You know, she could have a career in the public eye. She’s nearly as ugly as Bindi Irwin.

Her Dad’s gone bald, not with worry, just from a hair-pulling incident.

Her parents weren’t actually that keen for her to enter the competition. But try telling her that.

Her parents insist she’s just like any other girl. She goes to school, plays with her friends, and if she misbehaves she has to sit in the naughty cage.

By Wok and Mat

Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.

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