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Become a politician? Are you MAAAAD? (Good News Week 10/11/08: A Thousand Words)

The UK is set to repeal a 450-year-old law barring lunatics and idiots from entering parliament. And at long last the Monster Raving Loony Party will have their day!

For the last 450 years, lunatics and idiots have been forbidden from standing for the British Parliament, and have had to remain in the House of Lords. / in Buckingham Palace.

Unfortunately they found that by ruling out lunatics and idiots, the only people left wanting to enter Parliament were the corrupt.

So now, as well as being transvestites and cultists, British MPs are finally allowed to be totally insane.

Until now, British MPs have had to mask their insanity under the guise of eccentricity or rank perversion.

The law is ridiculous. How do they expect people to get into politics if they’re not grossly insane? / totally mad? / criminally deranged?

The old law prohibits “lunatics” and “idiots” from becoming MPs. Although “churls”, “curmudgeons” and “popinjays” are still okay. / Although it still allows “fops”, “cads”, “knaves” and “bounders”.

Just what British politics needs – free licence for their MPs to act like utter imbeciles.

Allowing crazy people into politics? Are you mad?

Of course there’s never been a ban on MPs who are power-mad.

In spite of the legislation, 27 percent of MPs have experienced some sort of mental health problem. Most of them were just too deluded to realise.

With 27 percent of MPs already having experienced some sort of mental health problem, they decided it was time to actively seek out the loonies.

Maybe the law should be preserved. The last thing that we want in a leader is someone who has breakdowns, hears voices, or sees phantom weapons of mass destruction.

OK, maybe ruling out “lunatics” is a little unfair to those with some form of mental impairment. But “idiots”? Must they allow the election of idiots? Wasn’t that law a pretty good idea?

The law used to prevent “lunatics” and “idiots” from becoming MPs. Now there’s nothing but idiots as far as the eye can see. / Now, British parliament is going to be wall-to-wall idiots.

They figured that, if the world’s plunging into war and depression and oil crises and irreparable climate change, might as well give the idiots a go.

They figured it was time to give the idiots and loonies a go at running things. They couldn’t possibly fuck it up any more than the educated and sane did.

From now on, mad dogs and Englishmen make quorum. / make up the House of Commons.

Finally, British MPs will be able to come out of the closet and act like the idiot fucktards they really are.

27 per cent of British MPs have had mental health problems, so let’s see how high they can get that if they make it legal!

They’re putting the lunatics in charge of not just the asylum, but the whole country!

The law against idiot MPs needed to be repealed as it looks like the Tories are going to be voted in.

And any MPs who aren’t lunatics or idiots will be asked to get a lobotomy.

They’re replacing question time with a food fight, and the House of Lords with the House of Loons.

27 percent of the House of Commons have had mental health issues. And 100 percent of the House of Lords are senile old twits.

The law has been necessary to ensure that lunatics and idiots don’t get in the way of government by the senile and incontinent.

One in three MPs who do have mental health issues said they were unlikely to be open about it because of the stigma. One anonymous MP, Tony X, said he was haunted by hallucinations of Saddam Hussein mass destructing him in 45 minutes time.

Fortunately such legislation has never existed in America, who have a long and proud tradition of voting for idiots.

It turns out Australian parliaments similarly disallow smirkers, chair-sniffers, and Brendan Nelson.

By Wok and Mat

Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.

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