No more living in harmony (Good News Week 9/2/09: What’s The Story?)

The Federal Government has announced a tougher anti-racism program to replace the decade-old Living in Harmony program. The new program will be given the more accurate title of Living with Bigotry. / Tolerating Bigotry. / Intolerance of Intolerance.

The Living in Harmony day made people feel either that it was either an unrealistic goal, or a slur suggesting that they weren’t living in harmony currently. It actually created a lot of dischord.

The new program goes by the name of the Diverse Australia Program, and will be policed by all the white males the Government can find.

The Diverse Australia Program will allow the Government to respond more quickly to racist flare-ups so they can round up and prosecute the races responsible.

The review said that “there needed to be a stronger focus on racial intolerance”. And here were we thinking there needed to be a greater focus on racial tolerance!

However the annual Harmony Day will be retained, as no-one really noticed that it was on anyway.

Ah, violent racists – they really put the “harm” in Harmony Day.

The Living in Harmony program had already been phased out in some regions, where it’s been replaced with Living in Cronulla.

The Government has decided to phase out the Living in Harmony program, since everyone kept hitting the wrong notes.

The Living in Harmony program has had to be phased out. Fact is, we can’t even get the melody right.

Mr Ferguson said that it’s “not going to accomplish very much when people with good motivations sit around agreeing with each other”. What he wants to see is dodgy people fighting. / is people with bad intentions punching each other in the face.

But whether Anglo Australians beat the shit out of Lebanese Australians, or Indigenous Australians beat the shit out of Anglo Australians, or Macedonian Australians beat the shit out of Greek Australians, the main thing is we’re all getting together.

Beating the shit out of our fellow Australians is what unites us!

But the question is did we really want to separate the Lebanese from the Anglos in the Cronulla riots? I mean how racist. / That’s just racist.

The new program comes amidst a widespread belief that the Australian flag has been hijacked by nationalistic louts, known as Poms. / as Australians.

The new program comes amidst a widespread belief that the Australian flag has been hijacked. But it’s just not like white Australians to take something that’s not theirs…

The new program comes amidst a widespread belief that the Australian flag has been hijacked. They’re going to fly it into Parliament House.

Don’t tell me our nationalistic emblem has been co-opted by nationalists!

People getting Australia-themed tattoos aren’t just out for a fight. There’s nothing violent about a boxing kangaroo. It’s the kick-boxing kangaroo you’ve got to worry about. / It’s the kangaroo with the knuckle-dusters you’ve got to worry about.

At least in a good old-fashioned Aussie riot, you know no-one’s going to give you a Chinese Burn…

But getting a tatt of the Southern Cross or a boxing kangaroo doesn’t mean you’re a racist – it just means you’re a fuck knuckle. / you’re unimaginative. / you’re really boring.

But how can racists “hijack” the Australian flag? It’s already racist!

Of course the flag is full of racist symbolism – the Union Jack is entirely Anglo, and the southern cross, well that’s incredibly Earth-centric. / and the southern cross is totally northern-hemispherically non-inclusive.

Dick Smith said louts draping themselves in the flag was disgusting, as “people have fought and died under that flag.” Nice one Dick, that ought to discourage violence. / And, if we keep the riots up, will continue to do so. / So keep the rioting up, chaps.

Still, it’s not as bad as the American flag. We only use ours as an excuse to beat up each other.

But there’s a simple solution to stop thugs draping themselves with the flag – make it pink and cover it with sequins. / make it out of satin and cover it in sequins. / make it all pink and sparkly.

Personally, I’m looking forward to the day when we change our flag and all these racist fucks will have the wrong flag tattooed on their arms. Then all the racist fucks of the future can beat THEM up. Oh how the wheel of life turns…

Just remember people, a tattoo is forever. Unlike the Aussie flag design.

But surely it’s cheaper to just tattoo “Lebs Go Home”. Or “I Am A Knob”.

But surely it’s not racist to get a tatt of an Aussie flag, or a boxing kangaroo, or “whites are the best, chuck out the rest”?

Of course it’s not racist to wear an Aussie flag. It’s just ugly.

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