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Good News Week

We’ve stopped evolving (Good News Week 3/11/08: Giving Headline)

A London Professor claims human evolution has stalled because of a lack of older fathers passing on cells that have mutated. So, what’s the bet this guy is getting on and can’t get laid? / Professor Steve Jones is 64. Coincidentally. / Professor Steve Jones is 64 – ladies keen on evolved children form an […]

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Good News Week

Eyebrow transplants (Good News Week 3/11/08: So You Think You Can Mime)

A US craze is spreading to the rest of the world – eyebrow transplants. They look good anywhere! Get five! Thank god! And here was I thinking that the coming depression we’re all about to plunge into was going to be filled with ugly eyebrows. Thank god! We may be about to plunge into a […]

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Good News Week

Snailface (Good News Week 3/11/08: So You Think You Can Mime)

A nine-year-old schoolgirl has broken the world record for having the most snails on her face at once: 25. Hot! But look at that tiny 9-year-old face. Where did she fit the other 20 snails? If I hear that there’s been some snail-stacking going on, I will not be happy. In the picture, you can […]

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Good News Week

I’ve heard of school detention, but this is ridiculous… (Good News Week 3/11/08: Perfect Match)

A British school has been criticised for sending kids to isolation cells that a father described as “like Guantanamo Bay”. Well? It is a detention centre. A British school has been criticised for sending kids to isolation cells that a father described as “like Guantanamo Bay”. And, as an extra torture, the kids are sent […]

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Good News Week

No Star Hotel (Good News Week 3/11/08: Perfect Match)

The world’s first No Star Hotel has opened in Switzerland. The $42 rooms have no views, no room service, no pay TV and limited hot water, but you do get a complimentary peg for your nose. / but at least it’s cramped and dingy. The world’s first No Star Hotel has opened in Switzerland. The […]

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Good News Week

Beer Googles (Good News Week 3/11/08: Strange But True)

Google has implemented a new feature on Gmail that checks for an altered state of mind before letting you email. It also notifies the cops. Google has implemented a new feature on Gmail that checks for an altered state of mind before letting you email. It simply plays some early Pink Floyd, and if you’re […]

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Good News Week

Tranny Dunny (Good News Week 3/11/08: Strange But True)

Manchester University has relabelled it’s toilets to avoid offending transgender students. Now instead of Ladies and Gents they’re labelled “Toilets” and “Toilets with urinals”. Transgender people are still confused, but now it’s about whether or not they can use a urinal. So rather than classifying people as Women or Men, they’re classifying them as Penises […]

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Good News Week

Good Next Week (Good News Week 3/11/08: closing)

Tues, Nov. 04 And tomorrow is the Melbourne Cup. I don’t know what the fuss is all about, really – if I wanted to see buck-toothed fillies run around in circles trying to be the best, I could go walk down Oxford St. Tomorrow, the race that stops the nation might be overshadowed by the […]