Stem Teeth (GNW 24/8/09: Three & A Half Corners)

Scientists have been able to grow mouse teeth from stem cells. Nooo! Now my mouse tooth collection will be worthless!

If we can grow our own teeth, it will eliminate the need for dentures. Not to mention plastic chattering teeth! / And make those chattering teeth toys a whole lot more realistic.

If we can grow our own teeth, it will eliminate the need for dentures. And dental hygiene. / flossing.

This is fantastic news. Is there ANYTHING we can’t grow on mice? / Ah, scientists. Is there anything they can’t grow?

So, we can grow mouse teeth from scratch! Finally I can finish that sculpture!

It could make dentures a thing of the past. In the future, we’ll all be chewing with mice. / we’ll all have mice-teeth. / we’ll have mice to chew for us.

Why use dentures, when you can use genetically-modified rodents?

Best thing about rodent teeth is they stay squeaky clean!

All they needed to do was inject a genetically-modified stem cell tooth-bud into a hole they drilled into a mouse’s jaw! The scientists are delighted – finally, a decent reason to drill holes in mice! / finally, they can justify all the hours they’ve spent drilling holes in rodents.

In just two weeks after being injected into the mouse’s jaw, the tooth was fully grown and functional. Unfortunately, two weeks after that, the tooth was the size of a horse and determined to enslave all humanity.

Now that they’ve grown teeth from mouse cells, scientists are now working on how to grow dentists out of guinea pigs.

You may think it’s silly superfluous science, but they’re fairly sure that growing extra mice teeth is actually a major step in the fight against cancer.

You may think it’s silly superfluous science, but they’re fairly sure that once they’ve perfected the mouse tooth, they’ll be able to use THAT to grow a full-sized Pteradactyl beak. And who knows what uses that will have!

But scientists really need to be careful. Sure, they can grow extra teeth on a mouse, but no-one wants to see teeth on a beaver.

The teeth were grown in mice that had had a tooth removed. Sounds like the farmer’s wife got bored with blinding and tail-severing.

It’s also ace news if you’ve ever wanted back-of-the-mouth incisors. And who hasn’t.

But it may require expensive jaw extensions to fit in all the extra teeth.

But most humans already grow superfluous wisdom teeth. And now they’re using that wisdom to grow more teeth. Unwise.

The technology won’t be used by dentists for at least 15 years. Up until then its main use will be by evil scientists looking to create an army of tooth monsters.

The technology won’t be used by dentists for at least 15 years. They want to wait until enough plaque builds up to make it worth their while.

In the future, rather than dentures, we’ll all be able to grow replacement teeth. Unfortunately, they’ll all be tiny little mice teeth.

But I don’t trust the science. Chances are you’ll end up with canines at the back and wisdom teeth up front. And molars where the sun don’t shine.

Grow your own teeth! It’s the only way I’m going to get my long-desired mouthful of canines.

The teeth are grown from embryonic stem-cells. That’s right, you’ll be able to have a mouthful of genuine unwanted baby!

The teeth are grown from embryonic stem-cells. So they’re just perfect if you want a something in your mouth that was once part of an aborted foetus. Any takers?

In the experimental mice, the new teeth have been injected with a protein to make it glow fluorescent green. Which will mean vampires will no longer have to carry torches. / So you’ll be able to brush them without turning on the light! / Okay, so it’s cool after all.

Thank God we’ll be able to grow new teeth. All that brushing and flossing is so time-consuming.

These new teeth will be great for people, so long as you don’t mind nibbling on cheese.

The main drawback is that the teeth do seem to greatly enhance your risk of being killed by mousetraps.

Scientists believe the same technology could be used to grow other organs inside the body, such as hearts, kidneys and livers. Which will provide something for all those extra teeth to chew on.

Scientists believe the same technology could be used to grow other organs inside the body, such as hearts, kidneys and livers. Depends on the size of the mouse, really.

It’s great, we’ll be able to do away with false teeth altogether now that we’ve found something more expensive to replace them with!

It’s good news for vampires. After thousands of years, your fangs do tend to wear out.

One Response to “Stem Teeth (GNW 24/8/09: Three & A Half Corners)”

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