Tony Negus has taken over as the new Commissioner of the Australian Federal Police. The old one went ‘wee wee wee’ all the way home.
It’s not hard to become Commissioner of the AFP. It’s one simple test: “Four legs good, two legs bad”.
Negus said the primary focus of the AFP would be to protect the community against the threat of terrorism, which will remain a problem for a generation. As long as no-one catches bin Laden, they reckon they can make it last at LEAST that long.
We’ve got a new police Commissioner! Tony Negus said the primary focus of the federal police would be to protect the community against terrorism, especially now that George Bush had moved on.
Negus said his top priorities were fighting organised crime and terrorism. He would include terrorism under organised crime, but he’s keen to keep the two budgets.
He also committed the AFP to fighting organised crime. And to at least tidy up disorganised crime. / And to give disorganised crime a good spring cleaning.
He also committed the AFP to fighting organised crime, which costs Australians an estimated $15 billion a year, money which could otherwise be spent on health, education, or the hard-working men and women at the Australian Federal Police force.
He said, “Under my leadership, the AFP will be committed to ensuring its members possess the skills to be effective in fighting crime in a rapidly changing world.” Skills like shooting people, and shouting “Stop!” / “Stop or I’ll shoot!”
Negus said the police had learned their lessons from the Mohammed Haneef affair & had moved forward a long way. Next time, no lawyers.
Negus said, “We are doing a range of things to ensure we’re on the cutting edge of law enforcement.” Ooh, sounds ouchy.
Negus said, “We are doing a range of things to ensure we’re on the cutting edge of law enforcement.” Not only the cutting edge, but the ballistic edge, the tear-gassing edge, and the edge that deals out blunt trauma to the head. / and the edge that you can use for zapping people with electricity. / and the edge that you press to squirt capsicum spray into someone’s eyes.
He said, “We are doing a range of things to ensure we’re on the cutting edge of law enforcement.” Well, if someone’s going to be on the cutting edge of law enforcement, it might as well be the cops.
Negus said he would ensure that the police were “on the cutting edge of law enforcement.” Which is better than leaving it to the dentists, bakers or furniture salesmen.
Tony Negus suggested his style of leadership was a natural follow-on from predecessor Mick Keelty. Though it’s a good thing Keelty shaved off his mo, or the natural successor might’ve been GEORGE Negus.
