Mickey Marvel (GNW 21/9/09: What’s The Story?)

Disney has taken over Marvel Comics. Soon, it will be coming for YOU.

Marvel cost Disney 4.7 billion US dollars. But it was worth it for a copy of Spiderman Issue 1.

Finally, our chance to see Spiderman versus Mickey! GO SPIDERMAN! / It’s about time someone took that talking mouse down. / Let’s see how useful your stupid white gloves are now. / Now that’s got his spider-senses tingling.

This may finally be our chance to see the X-Men versus Bambi.

Finally, Wolverine and Snow White can get it ON.

It follows a similar deal for Pixar in 2006. Though now if they want to find Nemo, they can just send out Aquaman.

And I always thought that Mickey WAS Captain America.

It’s a valuable acquisition. Everyone’s gagging for another ninety Spiderman films.

Comic book fans are panicking. Now everyone will think they’re dags!

The crossover potential is amazing. I can’t wait for Hannah Montana versus the Hulk! / Hulk School Musical!

Now there’s a movie I really want to see: Disney versus Warner! Imagine the one-on-one match-ups: Donald against Daffy, Spiderman against Superman, and Hannah Montana against the Joker! “Why so Cyrus?”

So I hope you’ve all figured out your price for when Disney takes you over.

It means Disney can corner the young male market as it already has for children, family and female. All it needs now is a porn arm. / The only market they haven’t conquered is for unpredictable, non-homogenous, thought-provoking works of art. But puh.

So there’s a good chance that the next Disney movie might not be totally GAY. / LAME.

Mickey – he looks so innocuous, but he owns everything. That’ll teach them to call him a silly big-eyed squeak-voice.

Stay tuned for The Fantastic Four versus The Seven Dwarves!

Finally, Mickey stands some chance at becoming an X-Man.

It’s part of a campaign for Disney to appeal to young men, who’ve been missing from their demographic recently. Even Mickey and Donald wouldn’t be seen dead at Hannah Montana.

It’s part of a campaign for Disney to appeal to young men. It was either buy up Marvel, or produce “Hannah Montana Gets Nasty”. / “Hannah Montana’s Adventures in Cocktown.”

Spiderman and Iron Man aren’t rapt. That Goofy is really cramping their style. / Goofy shits them.

Sadly, now Mickey Mouse is leaving Minnie, and hooking up with the Invisible Woman.

Now, if only Disney can buy up the Wiggles, they’ll be able to OWN YOUR CHILD’S MIND.

You’d be surprised by how many of the Disney classics can be remade to star mutant superheroes.

Now, Bambi now gets saved by Wolverine, Snow White lives with the Fantastic Four, and Cinderella uses her spidey senses to get to the Ball. / and Cinderella gets to the Ball by swinging there on a web, spidey-senses tingling! / and Cinderella is bitten by a radioactive spider.

Poor old Walt must be turning in his ice-chest. Surely 4 and a half billion dollars would’ve been enough to work out how to reanimate him.

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