Ho White (GNW 2/11/09: Strange But True)

A local beer has launched itself with a controversial campaign featuring a girl called Ho White smoking in bed with seven semi-naked dwarves. Who needs a handsome prince?

Aw, look! It’s like tiny little rugby league!

The idea is that the beer isn’t as sweet as people expect. It actually tastes like dwarf semen.

The idea is that the raspberry beer isn’t as sweet as people expect. But still, how pissed must she have been?

“Oh boy – what did they put in that apple?”

The ad’s for a raspberry ale. Snow White’s sure got a taste for consciousness-sapping poisoned fruit.

As well as poisoned apples and alcoholic raspberries it seems that Miss White’s got a taste for salty dwarf-fruit.

And isn’t it great that advertising agencies are turning to pornos for inspiration.

The company drew the wrath of Disney. They were just about to launch their range of Mouseketeer porn.

The advertising agency was forced to pull the campaign. They were able to fend off the legal challenge from Disney, but it turns out they stole both the name and the plotline from a porno.

And you should see the one they based on ‘Bambi’.

The commerical’s not just an ad for raspberry beer – it’s also an ad for rohypnol apples.

The dwarves are called Ugly, Smarmy, Randy, Filthy, Blotto, Gropey and Matthew Johns.

According to Ho White, Prince Charming is all very well and good – but he doesn’t have seven cocks, does he.

Mirror Mirror on the wall
Who’s the drunkest one of all?

So now she’s not just a high Ho, but a drunk one too.

Ho White says she wouldn’t have done it, but she was high at the time. She was high Ho, high Ho, it’s off to work she goes…

The good thing about dwarves is they don’t have to go down – they’re already there.

Ho White says the dwarves were satisfying, but she’s still going to go back to Jack and his beanstalk.

With the controversy over the campaign, the raspberry ale have taken down their campaign, and are replacing it with Little Red Rutting Hood. / Rooting Hood.

And you should see what she can do with a poisoned apple! HOOOWEE!

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with having a fun time with a bunch of dwarves. In fact, that’s one of my favourite websites.

And see if you can spot the eighth dwarf, Tonguey! / Fishy!

In the commerical, Ho White is being threatened by a wicked witch called the Advertising Standards Bureau.

It’s the first in a series. Look forward to seeing ‘Goldilocks and the 3 Beers’, ‘The Billy Goats Drunk’, and ‘Jack and the Beer-talk’. /‘Jack and the Meth Lab’.

Ho White said that the dwarves weren’t her first option, but that the Big Bad Wolf was already taken. Mmmm, so bad!

Ho White said that the dwarves weren’t her first option, but that the Big Bad Wolf was already taken. “My, what big feet you have!” “That’s not my foot, baby.”

Poor Ho White. With all those dwarves kissing her, she can’t get a decent night’s sleep even if she pops a couple of apples.

Disney’s got a rock-solid case against the advertisers, especially if they produce the original Snow White outtake reel.

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