Aussie Willy (GNW 9/11/09: 7 Days In 7 Seconds)

Prince William’s coming to Australia, for the first time in his adult life. I guess this time we won’t have to worry about making sure we have extra nappies.

Shame it wasn’t Harry – we could’ve just had a massive pissup.

Prince William is coming! Time for all you pampered princesses out there to get ready for face-to-face disappointment!

He’s not expected to bring his long-time girlfriend, Kate Middleton. He just wants to keep his options open in case some simple girl from Tassie sweeps him off his feet.

Apparently he’s bringing along a glass slipper, just in case…

It’s the first time William will be in Australia since he was just one year old. If he really likes it, he may come back again before he’s 50! / Even at that tender age, he would never have dreamed we’d still be part of his kingdom by now!

It’s the first time William’s been in Australia for 26 years. He decided he ought to come since surprisingly enough he may one day end up our head of state.

He’ll be looking forward to seeing some of Australia’s curious evolutionary throwbacks, like kangaroos, platypuses, and monarchists.

Of course William’s father, Prince Charles, spent much of his time growing up in Australia. Which is reason enough to avoid it.

If you believe the hype, he’s visiting us as a direct result of an official governmental request, but he’s really just popping in on his way back from visiting New Zealand. He wanted to see the real Middle Earth, and figured he might as well see the orcs on the way home.

He’s coming here after he visits New Zealand. It’s nice to know we’re his second favourite southern colonial outpost.

He’s just popping in to check out our beaches. He hears they’re fit, nubile, and will do anything.

He’s looking forward to popping a shrimp on the barbie, whatever that means.

He once flirted with the idea of become our Governor-General. Of course, then all the Governor-General’s staff would be hot English models.

Apparently, he once even considered becoming the Governor-General of Australia, because he was such a big fan of Arnold Schwarzenegger.

A new book claims both William and Charles had wanted the job of Governor-General of Australia as a way of escaping the grip of Prince Philip and the Queen. Although an even better way might be getting a job where they weren’t directly beneath them. / weren’t their foreign representatives.

Prince Charles once wanted to be Australia’s Governor-General, but Bob Hawke vetoed the appointment. Veto? What sort of a monarchy is this?

Leave a Reply