Psychological warfare – Oz style (The Glass House 5/7/06)

A new $51 billion Defence spending plan includes $50 million earmarked for psychological warfare. The other $50.95 billion is being spent on regular bombing-the-shit-out-of-people warfare.

One psychological technique being advocated involves putting your gun away, and giving your enemy a cupcake. Who could resist?

The psychological warfare includes propaganda and media control. Which strangely enough isn’t mentioned in the article at all…

With our soldiers accidentally shooting themselves and Iraqi security guards, we need psychological operations as soon as possible – on our guys!

We’re even going to brainwash our own soldiers. It’s cheaper than buying the soldiers new guns and armour; they can just hypnotise them into thinking that their stuff is up to date.

Maybe while they’re spending their 51 billion dollars, they can get some camouflage gear that looks like desert. At the moment, the Iraqis think they’re being attacked by a bunch of shrubs / by a hedge…

$200 million is being spent on space-based technologies. Which will be handy if Osama ever turns out to be hiding out on Mars.

$200 million is being spent on space-based technologies. Do they realise that Iraq isn’t actually in space?

$200 million is being spent on space-based technologies. We’ll win the War on Terror just as soon as our Death Star is operational!

Yeah! What we need to win the war on Iraq is more light sabres, droids and tie-fighters. Peew peew! Take that, insurgency!

So maybe things aren’t going that well in the Middle East or North Korea. At least we’ll be prepared when the robot space mutants attack!

The army is focusing on psychological warfare, with all soldiers now trained to aim right for the psyche.

The army wants to focus on winning the “warfare of the mind”; now all soldiers are trained to aim right for the brain.

From now on soldiers will be equipped with special psych-bullets; they don’t kill you outright, they gently convince you to die of your own free will.

New ballistic brainwashing. It reaches the parts that regular brainwashing can’t.

“Psychological Operations”… isn’t that just another name for “government advertising campaigns”?

Lucky this war on terror didn’t blow out to become an expensive drain on our finances eh…

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