Ailing for their art (cut from The Glass House 1/11/06)

Research shows that Australia’s artists have levels of anxiety, tension and insomnia well in excess of the general population. For some reason having no job security, poor working conditions and being constantly told that they’re talentless hacks brings about anxiety.

But people just don’t understand how stressful it is to paint a red square on a white background – and convince people it’s art.

48% of artists suffer from anxiety-related symptoms, which is 10 times the level of the general population. That’s because waiting for paint to dry gives you more time to contemplate things like the dissolution of human rights, nuclear brinkmanship, and the fact that we’re all falling into the SEA! AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGH!!!!

About 15% of artists had insomnia, hayfever, indigestion and skin complaints. In fact, some of our great modern masterpieces have just come about by the artist standing on a canvas, sneezing, and letting greatness dribble and flake off them.

Artists should suffer for their work: just ask Andrew Bolt / Piers Ackerman.

Still, you’d be anxious too if you worked in a grotto.

Seems that stress actually helps create good art. So instead of handing out arts grants, the government should hand out fines!

This might explain why when artists get successful they often lose their edge. Although it could just be that they can finally afford some paint and no longer have to use their own faeces.

If stress is so good for art, how come Brant and Todd didn’t come up with any great artworks? Although, “Crap In A Hat” did recently sell at Christies for $1.2 mill…

Leave a Reply