Good News Week

Mobile Phone Osama (Good News Week 25/2/08: monologue)

Video messages from Osama bin Laden & other al-Qaeda leaders can now be downloaded to your mobile phone. Notifications can be received via alert tone, vibrate or explosion.

It also acts as a deterrent for using your mobile while driving.

The messages are low quality but are excellent for setting off remote bombs.

al-Qaeda is also designing special ringtones. And I tell ya, their Crazy Frog really is crazy.

And on the ring-tone hit-parade, Osama’s number one with a bullet!

al-Qaeda has really embraced mobile phone technology. Apparently Osama’s getting really good at Snake.

President Bush would respond, but he just can’t get the hang of predictive text.

George Bush has responded by releasing all his speeches via telex / fax / homing pig. Well, that’s just the Texan way.

The announcement was made by al-Qaeda’s media wing – which was all that was left after their media plane crashed into a building.

It’s one thing to download one of these messages, but be very suspicious of anyone who has Osama as their ring tone.

Damn it! If only Osama had a land line he’d be much easier to catch.

I actually don’t think it’s the real Osama. The bikini gives it away.

Not only can you download Osama’s messages, but you can also download video of him and two hot friends washing a car in bikinis!

As well as using mobiles, al-Qaeda has a very active web presence. A web of evil presence.

The recruitment plan is sure to work much better for al-Qaeda than their last one – Terrorist Tazos.

The messages also come with an attachment – a US military bombardment.

But, best thing of all, you can also download Crazy Frog strapped with explosives. And who hasn’t wanted to do that?

By Wok

Warwick Holt is a highly experienced, award-winning screenwriter, who has written for many of Australia’s top comedians and presenters, and the Emperor of this here Media Empire.

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