AnaeSithic (Good News Week 28/7/08: So You Think You Can Mime)

In the UK, a Star Wars fan watched Revenge of the Sith instead of having a general anaesthetic during a double knee joint-replacement operation. Because when you see Anakin Skywalker burnt to a crisp after losing both legs and an arm, a bit of a dicky knee doesn’t seem so bad after all.

Watching the movie was difficult at times. The drilling, sawing and hammering of his knee being replaced was distracting enough; he didn’t need those kids throwing popcorn.

The film helped distract him from the pain of his double knee op. That, and the LOCAL ANAESTHETIC. / painkilling injection in his spine.

He took in Star Wars Episode 3 to distract him from his double knee replacement. No-one told him that Anakin gets both his legs replaced!

And there’s nothing to distract you from having your knees replaced better than the story of someone who has nearly everything replaced.

The doctors could saw and drill on his knees, safe in the knowledge that his screams of pain were caused by the agonising dialogue.

Because nothing could be more painful than that acting.

Who’d’ve thought it? Watching a recent Star Wars movie to reduce pain!

He could clearly hear the doctor saying “Use the Gauze, nurse, use the Gauze.” / “Use the Forceps, nurse, use the Forceps.”

To help his knee heal, when they bandaged him, they turned the gauze over. Do not underestimate the power of the Dark Side of the Gauze.

Yup, those prequels put me to sleep as well. / Well those new Star Wars movies do tend to be a bit soporific.

Interestingly a quick dose of Revenge of the Sith and I’m out cold.

Watching the movie distracted him from his own pain by focussing him on the painful acting.

At one point the man began crying and moaning pain, but it turned out to just be the line “Hold me, like you did by the lake on Naboo….where there was nothing but our love.” / but it turned out just to be the romantic scenes between Anakin and Padme.

He’s almost completely recovered now, and his knees are getting better too.

And, best of all, most of the surgical work was performed with a little mini light-sabre!

The man said it was either watch Revenge of the Sith again while having his knees reconstructed, or get a life.

65 year old Colin Hope didn’t see why a stupid operation should stop him watching his favourite film for the three hundredth time.

He got through the surgery fine, although afterwards he did try to turn the doctor to the Dark Side.

Unfortunately there have been side effects: his new knee has turned to the Dark Side.

Though next time the doctors are going to insist he goes under, an operation they’re calling The Anaesthetist Strikes Back.

The operation would have gone fine, except that the surgeon hates Star Wars.

But he feels a little unsatisfied. To see the full saga he’ll have to replace another five knees.

He loves that movie so much he’s thinking of having all his joints replaced.

He decided to do it because last time he had a general anaesthetic he just replayed the film in his mind anyway.

It all went surprisingly well, although when the operation was over, he stood up and screamed “NOOOOOO!”

The operation took a little longer than usual, as the surgeon had ordered the large popcorn. / because during the light-sabre fights, the surgeon couldn’t look away.

The guy had actually only gone in for an ingrown toenail, but the surgeon got distracted.

It’s even better for laser eye surgery – it just looks like a 3D light sabre!

Having his knees operated on was the only way he could sit through the entire film without kicking the screen in.

Of course, it wasn’t really the film that helped him through. It was that the doctor was using the Force.

Of course using The Phantom Menace as a painkiller is more dangerous – patients can lapse into a coma.

The doctor said this was the first time something like this had happened in his surgery. Normally it’s The Empire Strikes Back.

Asked if it was the first time something like this has happened, the surgeon said (Yoda voice) “The first time it is not.”

The guy had asked the surgeon to try and fix his leg. The surgeon snapped at him, saying (Yoda voice) “Do or do not – there is no ‘try’.”

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