$308 million to be Batman (Good News Week 28/7/08: Warren)

The author of a new book on Batman estimates the cost of being a real-life Batman would be 308 million dollars. Though you could be Robin for a couple of thou.

To be a real-life Batman, you’d need to be one of the world’s richest people. Or a master criminal!

Lucky he’s actually multimillionaire Bruce Wayne.

The author of a new book estimates the cost of being a real-life Batman would be 308 million dollars, but that it’s worth it for the Batgirls.

The author of a new book estimates the cost of being a real-life Batman would be 308 million dollars. And at least 2 million of that is needed just to be multi-millionaire Bruce Wayne.

Looks like interest rates rises have hit Batcaves too.

308 million bucks. Batman really should’ve rethought the BatChandeliers.

308 million bucks. Surely it’d be cheaper just to pay the bad guys off.

Of course, it doesn’t cost you that if you just whack on a cape, stick on a mask, and run around the city in your codpiece and tights. And there’s a vacancy since the Pope’s left.

Huh, and they say crime doesn’t pay.

Sure, crime doesn’t pay, but crime-fighting actually costs. / crime-fighting costs a fortune.

It’d probably be cheaper to personally pay for all supervillain-related damage.

It’s a tough call – if you’ve got 300 million bucks, do you buy your own set of islands and live the rest of your life in decadent luxury, or pretend to be Batman?

To save money, Batman’s now going to be driving a Mini. / he’s going to ditch the aeronautics, and become Mouseman. Ground-level criminals – beware!

Holy expense account, Batman!

Isn’t that typical, the rich always get the best jobs.

308 million! I’m going to have to wash a few more windscreens.

The cost includes $2 million for a Batmobile, $4 million for a Batcave, and hundreds of millions for a complete set of back issues.

So now Bill Gates has retired, he can finally get on with eliminating crime from Gotham City.

Of course the 308 mill doesn’t include the costs of training, studying, or being good. / or being able to outwit and catch criminals.

Look, if it’s going to cost that much, is it any wonder so many turn to a life of crime? / is it any wonder Gotham City’s riddled with criminals?

$300 million of the $308 million is for the Batcomputer: an IBM Blue Gene / L supercomputer, the best computer around. So if you can get by with a cheap clone you could save 97% of your Batbudget.

He estimates that $300 million of the $308 million would be for the Batcomputer alone. You need a motherboard that can withstand all the swinging. / It’s takes a special kind of computer to download porn while you’re swinging from a rooftop trying to dodge the robotic tentacles of Dr Octopus.

He estimates that $300 million of the $308 million would be for the Batcomputer alone. Of course, Batcaves aren’t cheap either. / Batmobiles don’t grow on trees.

The problem with spending 300 million dollars on the biggest, fastest, best computer around is that next week they bring out a model with twice as much grunt at half the price. / is that it’s hell to get working with Windows Vista.

The main cost isn’t even the processor. It’s that, when you’re swinging from building to building all over the Gotham City, you need a really, really long cable to still be able to access the internet.

If you want something more cost-effective, you could always be the Joker.

Pah – and all you need to be the Joker is some bad makeup and lousy acting skills. Yes, Heath Ledger was a shit actor, there, I said it.

And he’s not the only superhero affected by high costs. You should see the cost of the Hulk’s clothing budget / drycleaning bills / size of the Hulk’s tab at the tailor’s!

People never think about the costs of superherodom. You know how much it costs to keep Wonder Woman’s invisible plane clean? One stain and it’s not invisible!

But being a superhero is an expensive job. Spiderman has to pay for expensive antivenene every time he accidentally bites his lip.

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