Palin Porn Gives Me The Horn (Good News Week 27/10/08: Strange But True)

A major LA porn studio is looking for a Sarah Palin look-alike to play Palin in an adult film. Because before you vote for the next leader of the free world, you want to fantasise about screwing her.

That’s sure to get more folks rootin’ for her!

And to think those nasty lefties are saying that Republicans only like her because she’s hot.

So while the Republicans’ policies sink the world into the quagmire of a depression, isn’t it nice to know they’ve got a candidate worth bangin’.

They’ve found it difficult to find porn stars suitable to play Palin. They all just come across as too intellectual. / intelligent. / literate.

There’s one scene where she takes it in the Oval Office. That’s gotta hurt. / “That’s the way baby, ooh, right in the Oval Office.”

“Oh… gosh darn… golly gee… oh JOE SIX PACK!”

The film’s going to be called “Impalin’ Palin”. / “Nailin’ Palin”. / / “Sarah Wailin’”. / “Sarah Polin’”. / “Up the Oval Office”. / “The Oval Orifice”. / “President of Vice”. / “Joe Six Pack Visits The White House”. / “Shootin’ Moose”. / “Huntin’ Beaver”. / “The Moose and the Beaver”. / “Sarah meets Joe’s Six Pack”. / “Drill, Baby, Drill”.

The film is the ultimate Republican fantasy, featuring Sarah getting banged in the Oval Office, before giving birth to a mutant that eats pro-choice lobbyists.

For the 2½ to 3 grand the successful applicant gets for the job, Palin’s thinking of doing it herself.

Why get a Sarah Palin lookalike? If they just waited a month, they could hire the real thing!

The company working on the movie is a bit of an unknown, going only by the name “Bush ‘n’ McCain Films”.

The film is being paid for by a mysterious benefactor, known only as “McCain”.

In the film, the Palin character goes hunting some moose, but it turns out someone else is hunting some beaver.

She’s known for her moose hunting trophies, but it looks like America just really wants to see her beaver. / She’s known for her stuffed moose trophies, but it looks like America just really wants to see her stuff her beaver.

Porn is a multibillion dollar industry in the US – even bigger than politics. So if Palin loses the election, she’ll know where to go.

Of course, once the porn is released, it’ll not only clinch the election, but actually promote her to President, when McCain is found dead, next to a box of tissues.

More disturbingly, they’re also looking for a McCain lookalike. That’s one expose I’m happy to leave behind-the-scenes.

Sure, she might not be that great in interviews, but she ain’t gonna need to say much … / but they ain’t choosin’ her for her talkin’.

Come on, there’s no way they’re getting anyone who does a better Palin than Tiny Fey.

This is the first political-themed porno since the Cheney and Dubya film “Dick and Bush”. Tho, I’m not sure they were actually look-alikes…

Dubya’s really disappointed. He’s still waiting for someone to make a porno about him.

It’s not the first time a political porn film has surfaced. A Dubya-look-alike once starred in a movie called “Bush”, where ironically it’s the rest of the world that gets fucked. / screwed.

Come on, there’s no way Republican hillbilly rednecks would be interested in porn.

The film’s sure to be a massive hit. After all, Republicans may be moral crusaders for the sanctity of the family, but that doesn’t mean they can’t enjoy a bit of leader porn.

Republican Party insiders are watching the audition process with interest, just in case they find someone who’d make a better candidate.

And just so they can’t be accused of bias, they’re also making a Joe Biden porno. Euugghh.

The scene calls for her to remove her glasses, let down her hair, and reveal that she actually looks like Pamela Anderson.

Palin’s character is quite true to life – she just loves a good drillin’.

This is plain bias. There’s no way they’d make a porno starring Hilary Clinton. Unless it was a three way with Monica Lewinsky.

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