Financial Crisis Tour (GNW 25/5/09: Up-cut)

A former vice-president at Deutsche Bank has set up a Financial Crisis Tour of Wall Street. Unfortunately once he lost his job he found he didn’t actually have any skills of any use to anyone.

A former vice-president at Deutsche Bank has set up a Financial Crisis Tour of Wall Street. It’s worth going just to point at him and laugh.

A former vice-president at Deutsche Bank has set up a Financial Crisis Tour. He can pretty much just tour any part of the world and point. / The tour is basically him looking around him and pointing. / He just stands there and says “look around”.

Gosh, really? I’d rather just give him the 40 bucks and punch him in the face.

Wow! Now that’s a tour I wanna pay good money to go on. IF ONLY I HAD SOME.

He’ll drive you around to all the great financial buildings, and point out all the places on the footpath where executives have gone splat.

Like the economy itself, the 90 minute tour is fantastic for about 80 minutes, then starts going downhill rapidly, and finishes with a spectacular crash.

Luan gives you an insiders’ view of being a trader. But given his track record, he probably doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

It’s a great insight into what exactly’s to blame for the financial crisis. Though if you really want to know, the tour’s probably too expensive.

If you’re lucky, you can actually help to scrape a trader off the pavement!

Experience just how it feels to exploit millions of people for your own gain!

It’s a rare opportunity to be taken through the labyrinths of Wall Street by an actual senior trader who helped create the collapse – close enough to punch!

Andrew Luan, who helped manage a US one billion dollar trading business, said setting up the tour was not quite as embarrassing as his other option: panhandling.

Unfortunately you get half-way through the tour before finding the company has collapsed and the tour guide has absconded to Switzerland.

Luan traded collateralised debt obligations, which caused the collapse of AIG. That’s right, an Asian working for a German bank, helped take down the American International Group. This financial crisis really is global!

You can go past some of the major Wall Street landmarks, like the crumbling remains of major investment banks. / like Bear Sterns head office. These days, it’s a Starbucks!

A portion of tour proceeds will be donated to help improve financial literacy. HIS financial literacy. Every bit helps!

A portion of tour proceeds will be donated to help improve financial literacy. Because if there’s one person who can help with financial literacy, it’s a failed executive who helped destroy the world.

Tour guide Andrew Luan left his job as vice-president of Deutsche Bank when they failed to pay him his 2008 bonus. Just because he’d brought them to the brink of collapse!

Former billion-dollar trader Andrew Luan not only helps you understand what caused the credit crisis, but also provides a convenient scapegoat to assault. / pummel.

At 40 dollars, the tour’s worth cashing in your superannuation for!

The Financial Crisis tour takes in all the sights, from the heady heights of capitalism on the stock exchange floor all the way to the depths of despair on… the stock exchange floor. Still, the guy talks a lot.

Though make sure you want to go, some people who changed their mind ended up finding it hard to offload their tickets.

The Financial Crisis Tour begins at the soup kitchen where he eats these days, and takes you past any number of buildings that he’s no longer allowed to enter.

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