Sexting (GNW 25/5/09: What’s the Story?)

NSW police have warned teenagers about the dangers of sending nude photos of yourself on mobile phones. Apparently, the danger is that people will be able to see photos of you naked. Not rocket science, I would’ve thought.

NSW police have warned teenagers about the dangers of sending nude photos of yourself on mobile phones, otherwise known as “sexting”. Though it is possible that term is just an error on predictive text.

Police are saying that, to protect yourself against people circulating your naked photos, the best thing you can do is not send them photos of you naked. That should do the trick.

Police said that the practice was on the rise because of the popularity of mobile phone cameras. And, presumably, the popularity of naked teenaged girls.

Let that be a warning, teenagers. Only ever share naked pictures of yourself with your boy or girlfriend. That way it’ll be safe forever and ever, cross my heart.

Apparently there’s all these naked pictures of teenage girls floating around! …Can somebody tell me where?

These days, if you aren’t nude on the net, you’re nobody.

This modern technology is just asking for trouble. Turns out SMS also stands for Suck My Schlong. / See My Snatch. / Showing My Slopbox.

If you want to avoid sexting I suggest you don’t buy a nubile phone.

These girls are now being known as “mobile ho’s”.

Sure, this sexting starts out innocently enough, but eventually you know it’s going to lead to having tex.

But it’s not so bad – you know they never get to home base. Or as they call it now, “landline”.

Fortunately these days when you take a nude photo you don’t have the embarrassment of it being seen by the dude at the photo lab. Unless he knows your friends. Or has web access.

The practice is so popular because, with old-fashioned cameras there was a risk that the guy at the chemists would see your naked pics, whereas with the new cameras, the only people who will see it are your close friends, whoever they decide to mail it to, and anyone who happens to have access to the net.

Of course, the best defence is just to say that your head’s been photoshopped onto someone else’s naked body. Unless it’s really hot – then you should claim it as your own.

I just can’t believe the kids of today need to be told not to send naked pictures of themselves around. If you’re that dumb, I don’t even want to see you nude.

You can get nude teenage girls on the telephone now? But how do they travel down the wires?

It makes one yearn for the good old days of photocopying your arse. Such innocent times.

One 15 year old girl was forced to leave school after a naked photo of her was circulated. She is remembered fondly by boys with tissues. / by classmates in their wet dreams.

One 15 year old girl was forced to leave school after a naked photo of her was circulated. On the other hand, she did get an A.

After a naked photo of her was circulated, one 15 year old girl was forced to leave school. Much to the disappointment of all the boys.

After a naked photo of her was circulated, one 15 year old girl was forced to leave school. Of course, the principal had to get to her to strip naked just to make sure he was expelling the right girl.

Luckily, some of these phones have a cap. So it’s not fully naked, is it.

But it’s not fully naked is it – some of these phones have a cap.

And please, don’t have sext unless you’re wearing protection. Or as it used to be called, “clothes”.

High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens was embarrassed after an image of her naked was circulated last year. So most of the sexting girls are actually wholesome Disney fans emulating their hero. The real sluts are dressed up like vampires.

High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens was embarrassed after an image of her naked was circulated last year. But, wow, what a press release!

High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens was embarrassed after an image of her naked was circulated last year. But there’s no way Disney stars would promote sexualisation. Just look at old Mouskateers like Christina Aguilera, or Britney Spears.

But there are different kinds of sexting. There’s the regular kind, with pictures, but there’s also the kind where you just send the sounds of being naked, called “aural sext” – and of course there’s “anal sext”, where you shove your mobile up your arse.

The girls are also being asked by the boys to sit on their Facebook.

These nudie pics are enough to give many of their male friends an iGasm.

The scallywags are also playing games of “You show me yourspace and I’ll show you myspace.”

But it’s a slippery slope – once young girls start sexting, soon enough they’re doing it iPoddy-style down a dirty back alley with some anonymous eMale.

It’s “sext” if you wanted the picture, but if it was unsolicited they’re calling it “wham bam thankyou spam”.

A lot of the girls aren’t even upset that their naked pics have been sent around to everyone. They’re upset that people mark them as “spam”.

Back in my day, to send someone a dirty picture you had to roll it up really small and attach it to a homing pigeon.

But it’s natural. If people weren’t having sext, no-one would ever be bornt. (You think it’s really the storkt?)

Of course some girls take nude pictures of themselves to attract boyfriends, but it inevitably ends in a tearful break-up. And that’s when their ex sexts sex texts to vex or hex their ex. It’s complex.

Teenage nude photography has become much more popular with the advent of mobile phones, since you no longer have to master loading the film.

Police say the practice is on the rise – and so are their trousers! Wahey!

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