Jessica – Therapist or Therapest (The Glass House 16/11/05)

Jessica Simpson has been driven to therapy due to relentless gossip about her marriage to Nick Lachey. Maybe, just maybe, if she didn’t want so much gossip about her marriage she should STOP MAKING TV SHOWS ABOUT IT!

Nick said, “She’s definitely crazy. We split up years ago.”

Jess said: “Yeah, I’ve started seeing a therapist – he’s really hot!”

With their marriage on the rocks, the new series of “Newlyweds” has been renamed “Mental Cases”, followed by a series of “I’m Better Now, Really I Am”.

With their marriage on the rocks, the new series of “Newlyweds” has been renamed “NewlySane”.

Jessica’s new album has spawned a whole new genre – Electro-Shock-Rock.

Her new album sounds best on a combination of Lithium, Prozac and Zoloft. Just the way it was recorded!

Jess says that if she hadn’t been an entertainer she would be a therapist. Maybe a retail therapist.

Jess says that if she hadn’t been an entertainer she would be a therapist. Oh, so she’s an entertainer!

Before Jessica becomes a therapist she’ll have to pass an exam. And before she sits the exam she’ll have to learn to read.

Jessica’s new filmclip sees her living out her fantasy, electro-convulsing psych patients in her bikini. It’s called “These Prods Were Made For Shockin'”.

Inspired by Jess, Paris Hilton’s new series will be called “The Complex Life”, where she deals with the Superiority Complex, the Oedipal Complex, and the “I can’t do this it’s way too” Complex.

Inspired by Jess, Paris Hilton’s new series will be called “The Complex Life”, and features her hilarious mishaps as she unsuccessfully tries out employment as a Psychiatrist, a Brain Surgeon and President of the United States. And her dog gets to be the new Australian Prime Minister.

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