George W Bush has claimed that he quit playing golf to show “solidarity” with American soldiers in Iraq. Because, when you’re in direct line of fire on the front line in a ground war in a foreign country, one of the very first things you give up is playing golf. (thump chest with fist) Solidarity. […]
Month: June 2008
Kevin Rudd hires a stylist. And he still looks like that. / That means his nerd-look is deliberate. He also has someone to help him look good naked. In fact it was the stylist that suggested he go to Scores. It was the stylist that helped Rudd win the election, with their strict policy of […]
A wild bear weighing in at about 180 kilograms has been discovered wandering around in a sprawling New Orleans prison complex. It’s actually part of a secret honey-smuggling racket. Apparently the bear’s been imprisoned for honey-laundering. Not only have there been bears found in the prison compound, but they’re unusually furious ones. Apparently someone ate […]
A California man says he can see the image of the Virgin Mary in his leg after a motorcycle accident. Wear a helmet, kids. Interestingly doctors have confirmed that his leg wasn’t actually injured, but the concussion is still rather nasty. Lipton believes the Virgin Mary protected him from further injury, and refuses to have […]
Mon, June 02 This week sees the UN meeting on climate change, Melbourne’s Going Green expo and World Environment Day. Phew, looks like we’re saved at last. Tues, June 03 Mabo Day will be absolutely mabolous. On Tuesday, the U.S. presidential primaries finish. Hilary will give up golf, but still not the damn campaign. With […]
The Pentagon has released plans to redevelop Iraq’s Green Zone into a $5 billion Golf and Country Club. It’s a contingency plan, just in case peace unexpectedly breaks out and they’ve got to find some other way to waste billions of dollars. Finally a way for Iraqis to spend all their excess disposable cash. / […]
The government is investigating different strategies to combat obesity, including the introduction of a “fruit and vegetables rebate”. Which is a great idea, but turns making a fruit-salad into a fiscal nightmare. / into an accountant’s wet-dream. Now, when someone makes a fruit-salad, it can take a team of accountants weeks to untangle the fiscal […]
In NSW, they’re outlawing children under 16 getting piercings without a note from their parents. Looks like it’s back to the nailgun for the toddlers. / I guess the kiddies will have to go back to self-mutilation. Children under 16 who want piercings will now need parental approval. So there goes that avenue of rebellion. […]
A Toowoomba dress-maker has chased down a stolen dress after two months, by infiltrating high-school-formals. Yes, that’s my excuse too. / Weird, we have the very same reason. / I’m still searching for my missing dress, and I’ll keep infiltrating those prom-nights until I find it. Her and her seamstress went to find the frock, […]
A story this week that sounds like total pig’s arse, but is in fact pig’s bladder. A man in the US has had part of his finger regrown from a compound made from powdered pig’s bladder. It’s good to see scientists have finally found a use for all that powdered pig’s bladder… A US man, […]