The ACT government is considering banning fireworks. What? Next they’ll be banning X-rated porn and illicit drugs! It’s unCanberrian! Lucky they’re not banning drugs and porn, or our politicians would have nothing to do! From now on, fireworks in Canberra will be restricted to Question Time. It’s not a good idea to take away our […]
Month: June 2008
In Canada, the case of the mysterious severed feet in sneakers just keeps getting stranger. Now the total comes to six feet, or, in Australian, just about 2 metres. The feet keep washing up on Canadian shores. We’ve previously told you of three right feet that had been found on island beaches. Well since then […]
A chain of Aussie hair salons is set to offer walk-in, walk-out Botox treatments. So now there’s no more worries about your new haircut revealing unsightly wrinkles! The walk-in botox surgery will be great for people looking for instant beautification, as well as those just desperately in need of muscular paralysis. Fantastic! Now you can […]
Aussie tourism leaders are hoping the new Baz Luhrmann film Australia will attract tourists to our shores in a similar way that the Lord of the Rings trilogy did to New Zealand. They’re CGI-ing in a couple of hobbits just to make sure. Sure, Lord of the Rings showed off New Zealand’s snowy mountain ranges, […]
Kevin Rudd has enshrined ten minimum workplace conditions in place of the WorkChoices legislation. At long last, what we all voted for: WorkNoChoices! / NoChoices! / WorkChoiceless! Rudd refused to say where his ten “workplace commandments” had come from, but the CFMEU apparently had hired a chiseller. Rudd refused to say where his ten “workplace […]
This week sees the swearing in of the new Senate. The Coalition will lose their Senate majority, the Democrats will lose everything and the balance of power will be held by the Greens, Family First and anti-pokie crusader Nick Xenophon. So while the Government won’t necessarily need Coalition approval now, they will instead need to […]
Police in Vancouver are using cardboard replicas of traffic cops pointing radar guns to try to reduce speeding. And if they catch you speeding, they’ll issue you with a ticket – but don’t worry, it’s only a paper one. They look just like real cops, and have better personalities. They look just like real cops, […]
An Israeli rabbi has declared giraffe to be kosher. He was forced to after a day at the zoo when he just couldn’t help himself. An Israeli rabbi has declared giraffe to be kosher. He had to explain all the giraffe-skeletons somehow… Giraffes are Kosher. And delicious. Lucky – you know blintzes are actually mainly […]
Men are being recommended to do pelvic floor exercises to cure impotence. And women are recommended to do them along with the men just in case they cure to the point of conception. The idea is ludicrous. There’s no way men are going to do something called “exercise” when they could just pop a pill. […]
The Australian government is considering changing its terror alert system to one which is specific to particular locations or industries. High-risk industries for terrorism might include transport and politics, and low-risk industries include latex wholesalers, worm-farms and terrorist training schools. / aged care, garbage collection and pig farming. The terrorism alert level has been set […]