Milan is trialling laws banning drinking by under-16s, now that a third of 11-year-olds in the city have alcohol-related problems. Ah, Milan, home of fashion, design, and teeny-weeny pisspots. In Milan, one third of all 11-year-olds have drinking problems. 65% are also hooked on caffe lattes, 73% have problems with garlic and tomatoes, while 59% […]
Month: August 2009
A New Zealand taekwando champion has set up a “high class gentlemen’s club” to fund his London Olympics campaign. Not only does the brothel help fund his taekwando, but is essential training for young women striving for a place on the vertical bar. The martial arts champion says he is the owner of an escort […]
Tuesday, August 11 Tomorrow’s ‘Australian Retail Awards’ in Melbourne will be on for one night only, so all prices have been SLASHED TO CLEAR! COME ON DOWN AND PICK UP A BAAAAARGAIN! Tomorrow is the Australian Retail Awards, perfect if you’ve lost your tail. (That joke grows on you.) Tomorrow’s Brisbane Lions gala auction dinner […]
At the G8 meeting in Italy, 17 world leaders faced the tough questions, made the important decisions, and triumphantly emerged with the solution – they would order the lobster bisque instead of the wagyu beef. (Then they went back to talking about all that carbon emissions stuff.) At the G8 meeting in Italy, 17 world […]
Sarah Palin has retired as Alaskan Governor, but is still remaining coy about what she’ll be doing next. She’s got a lot of options: moose-hunter, hockey mom, national President, take your pick! The biggest question is what next for Palin? Will she get a boat, and go sailin’? Or catch fish that need scalin’? Will […]
A witness to Michael Jackson’s autopsy has claimed that the former King of Pop’s nose was missing. Well, duh. It’s been missing for years. The claims were supported by Jackson’s housekeeper, who said surgery had destroyed Jackson’s nose, and he had a false one. Frankly, that’s ridiculous. False noses look good. / believable. Interesting – […]
Kevin Rudd has conceded that his plan to overhaul the nation’s health system will be expensive. But it’ll all be worth it if he shuts up. According to the Prime Minister, overhauling the nation’s health system will not be cheap. But it will be dodgy! According to the Prime Minister, overhauling the nation’s health system […]
In New Zealand, a woman has had to be rescued from an overly playful dolphin who wouldn’t let her back into shore. That’s the last time she goes swimming dressed as a fish. / as a beachball. But Moko was just having innocent fun. She LOVES playing “drown the human”! / “Drown the weak pink […]
Police in Minnesota are looking for a 31-year-old man who has a sexual fetish for slashing rubber balls. Not to arrest him, mind you – just for discreet fun times. Minnesota police are chasing a man with a sexual fetish for slashing rubber exercise balls. Soon he’ll have enough for his own gimp suit that […]
The Church of England has launched a new “two-in-one” wedding and baptism service, allowing you to tie the knot and the cord in one go. Of course, it can be quite confronting listening to any prayer that begins “Dear Lord Jesus, please forgive these slutty fornicators and their bastard spawn…” The only downside is that […]