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Glass House

Aguilera is Torture (The Glass House 22/6/05)

US Forces at Guantanemo Bay have been using some pretty low-down tricks: urinating on the Koran, getting prisoners to bark like a dog, dripping water on their heads, putting their naked body in all sorts of poses, and now even stooping to playing them Christina Aguilera. The torturous techniques have resulted in some confusing testimony. […]

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Glass House

Trophy: Cut price sex on offer for Dresden’s unemployed (The Glass House 15/6/05)

The Age wants you to pay for this one too, the bastards Unemployed men in Germany are being offered a 20 per cent discount at a Dresden brothel. Just bring in proof of being on the dole for two years to collect the discount. Two-year-old unwashed dishes qualify. Worried about the apparent discrimination of the […]

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Glass House

Boomers keep toy trains on a roll (The Glass House 15/6/05)

At last, a story with a link: Boomers keep toy trains on a roll More than three-quarters of the world’s model train sales are thanks to adult collectors… because kids these days are more interested in things like excitement and fun. Microsoft are releasing a new model train simulation to try to recapture the kids’ […]

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Glass House

Up the Pecking Order (The Glass House 15/6/05)

In our modern society, where we have smaller backyards and no time to walk the dog, chickens are becoming increasingly popular as pets. “They lay eggs and they are a fantastic garbage disposal unit,” said vet Dr Anne Fowler. “And they’re one of the few pets that really roast well.” It’s less wasteful. Instead of […]

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Glass House

Poor Reception (cut from The Glass House 15/6/05)

A Florida woman pulled a gun on her TV repairman, telling him: “You’re not leaving until the TV is fixed.” She was going to see Survivor one way or another… She was said to have been inspired by Desperate Housewives… I can understand why TV would drive you to that. You wouldn’t want to miss […]

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Glass House

Religious twist in Workplace Relations (The Glass House 8/6/05)

This article from the Sydney Morning Herald requires you to pay to order it online. Screw that, they’re not getting my link. The government’s industrial relations reform is heavily grounded in Christian ethics, says devoutly Catholic Minister for Workplace Relations, Kevin Andrews. Surely you remember Christ’s famous “Blessed are the employers with less than 100 […]

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Glass House

Supper with the stars (The Glass House 8/6/05)

A new UK website offers you the chance to have dinner with washed up pop stars and comedians. For a fee of between 300 and 5000 pounds, Supper With The Stars will send around one of their list of semi-stars to liven up your dinner party. And after dinner they sing karaoke to all of […]

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Glass House

Tests on experimental drug hold out the promise of a clever pill (The Glass House 8/6/05)

Tests on experimental drug hold out the promise of a clever pill says the Sydney Morning Herald about a new drug called ampakine. We say: It’s going to make medical exams a lot less gruelling. In fact the main assessment will just be based on which pill you’ve prescribed yourself. I actually ordered a pack […]

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Glass House

Trophy: Dockers’ new recruit ‘Hassa’ (The Glass House 8/6/05)

Some understandably unused gags about an Age article related to this one: Dockers find humour in Hasselhoff hoax Hasslehoff is just who the Dockers need on their forward line. KITT could be coach. The cybervandals were going to use KITT but couldn’t fit the guernsey on… I’m looking forward to when they start replacing all […]

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Glass House

Trophy: Sheik Yerbooti Memorial Explosive Logie (cut from The Glass House 1/6/05)

Some Holt & Blackwell authored material for the trophy segment cut from The Glass House re: a Sydney Morning Herald article “Fitting the Part”. Iraqis living in America are being hired by the US Army to play insurgents and protesters in a new training program that aims to prepare troops for the war zone. They’re […]