There’s a deadly civil war in Sri Lanka, so what do we send over? Food? No. Medical supplies? No. We send them street theatre. And if you’ve ever seen any street theatre, you’ll know exactly why it deters people. Of course, it’s not the street theatre’s message that keeps them away – more the quality […]
Month: October 2009
In the next 50 years, the world’s population will eat as much food as it has consumed so far over the entirety of human history. And it will read a million times as many emails! In the next 50 years, the world’s population will eat as much food as it has consumed so far over […]
Japan’s new left wing government has already begun overhauling the country’s whaling policies – by asking for Australia to help prevent the violent attacks. On the WHALERS! The Japanese government argues that, as there really aren’t that many countries left that practice whaling, they’re actually an endangered species. / they’re actually an endangered species and […]
Holden have converted their old Statesman design into a purpose-built police car for the United States. You can easily spot them by their fluffy lights. / fuzzy lights. Not only are American cops going to be driving Holdens, but they’ll be trained in the correct way to perform burnouts and doughies. The car will be […]
Defence engineers are excited about a future technology they hope will find people lost in disaster zones – robot locusts! Just unleash a plague and watch the missing come running! All the swarming destruction of locusts, combined with the emotionless power of robots! What could go wrong? / Sure, you laugh now… Of course, making […]
There’s a new Winnie the Pooh book! “Return to the Hundred Acre Wood” contains all your favourite characters! Except that Milne one. / Except the one that made them all up. Isn’t it funny How a book makes money? Cash cash cash I wonder where it’s stashed? Isn’t it funny How a book makes money? […]
British research suggests that children who eat too many lollies grow up to be violent adults. The good news is that rather than lengthy prison sentences, the best deterrent to reoffending is two bucks of mixed at the milk bar. British research suggests that children who eat too many lollies grow up to be violent […]
The hunt is on for new guards at Buckingham Palace, Windsor Castle and Balmoral, particularly from applicants who are women, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, black or minority ethnic. Just another sign that that hippie Charles is seizing power by stealth. The new gay Royal Guardsmen will be known as the Queen’s Queens. Because you need […]
Chinese dwarfs have set up their own village to escape discrimination. Or, in fact, to impose discrimination. The 120 villagers in the mountain commune of Kunming are all under 129cm tall. Apart from their mighty leader, Snow White. The villagers have turned themselves into a tourist attraction by building mushroom houses and living and dressing […]
Tuesday, October 20 Federal parliament resumes, with the ETS top of the agenda, unless something else comes along in the meantime that they can kick Turnbull with. Dannii Minogue will turn 38, and send Kylie a card saying “Still no cancer!” Dannii Minogue will turn 38! But I’d still flip her over and bone her. […]