Iran’s president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, has repealed a ban on Iranian women attending sports stadiums. That’ll be great – particularly for the women’s events. The White House said that dropping the sexist law is further proof that Ahmadinejad is a dangerously unhinged fundamentalist and must be nuked at once. Ahmadinejad decided to drop the ban after […]
Category: Glass House
144 Dutch sheep are being used to advertise an online hotel reservation company via waterproof blankets. The sheep are thrilled; as one said, “It’s much better than that soggy old wool I used to get around in!” It’s an old idea – sheep have been advertising wool for ages. Branding’s come a long way since […]
Texan police are going undercover to arrest drunken patrons in bars, since public drunkenness laws still apply there. Now drunks have lost their wateringholes, pub owners are losing their businesses, and bouncers have no-one to beat the shit out of. And Texans are at a loss as to what to do with all the leftover […]
Costello brushes up on his schoolyard taunts. Costello loses again at thumb-wrestling. “Best out of three?” “How much for the little girl?” The new economics teacher seems like a bit of a creep. “Would you like a tax cut, little girl?” Costello selects another victim for the Altar of Blood. Costello selects a virgin for […]
WHOOPS, WRONG CORPSE The parents of Private Jake Kovco were furious when their son’s body was delivered to Melbourne Airport, only to turn out to be the body of an unidentified Bosnian. Mr and Mrs Unidentified Bosnian are also said to be quite upset. Private Kovco’s mother rang John Howard personally and according to Brendan […]
University academics are being recruited as “spies” in the war on terror. They’ve been asked to alert Canberra about any enrolment inquiries from students from countries suspected of having WMDs. In particular, they’re looking for students from countries who have used WMDs. So that’s pretty much just Americans then. So Americans, Indians and Israelites had […]
In the US, they’ve started using robots at childcare nurseries. They’re hoping that by 2012 they can dispense with children altogether… It’s part of an experiment to discover what it takes for machines and humans to develop long-term relationships. The kids are really enjoying it, but the robots are still coming to terms with the […]
The actors playing Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck at Hong Kong Disneyland have been denied paid sick leave after suffering injuries from the heavy costumes. Hang on a minute – what do you mean costumes? (sniff) Oh well, there go my last childhood illusions… The actors playing the Disney stars are having their pay docked […]
Researchers in Adelaide have suggested sheep of the future may be shorn by having a mobile phone call trigger a bioactive substance which would cause their wool to fall out. Of course it won’t work if the sheep are on another call at the time. That’s the sheep of things to come… The farmer of […]
Bono tries to explain the concept of “international diplomacy” to a fan. “So do I get to join the band? I can get you really good coke!” ” ‘Bono’… that’s not Islamic is it?” ” ‘Bono’… sounds like a foreign name to me.” Dubya: “What do you mean ‘me too’?” Bush has trouble spelling the […]