Mel Gibson has had his 2006 drink-driving conviction wiped from his criminal record. So I guess that means his rant about “f-ing Jews… being responsible for all the wars in the world” is now regarded to have been sober and considered. But don’t worry, the incident hasn’t been wiped from the court of public opinion. […]
Month: October 2009
Harry Potter fans rejoice! Universal Studios are opening a new theme park: The Wizarding Worlds of Harry Potter. So that’s not just a new theme park, but a whole new verb! (Or possibly adjective.) Harry Potter fans rejoice! Universal Studios are opening a new theme park, called “The Wizarding Worlds of Harry Potter”. Sure, it’s […]
Norweigian cows are producing more milk and have fewer udder infections since new regulations mean cow sheds have been filled with soft rubberised mattresses for them to lie on. Or, for younger cows, to bounce on. Norwegian cows give more milk and have less udder infections, and all because they’re more comfortable. They spend half […]
Scientists have discovered that sperm are becoming so strong that they’re actually destroying eggs. Which is a bit of an “Ooops” moment for a sperm. The “super sperm” are faster, stronger, and more aggressive than other sperm, and end up destroying the egg. They’re kinda like tiny little rugby league players. Scientists say women’s bodies […]
Tuesday, October 13 Everyone should celebrate tomorrow’s National Herpes Day. It’s simplex! Tomorrow’s National Herpes Day! People are itching to go. Tomorrow’s National Herpes Day! Well, that’s what you get for having an ‘Unprotected Sex’ Day. Tomorrow is National Herpes Day! Everyone’s favourite incurable blistering STD. Tomorrow is National Herpes Day! Celebrate by drinking limited-edition […]
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Excuses excuses…
Hello, a brief look just suggested to me that I haven’t written ANY news since February. To be honest, just posting up the jokes has become a mammoth task, especially with “7 Days in 7 Seconds” churning through the stories in a matter of seconds. (Much as I’ve enjoyed that segment on the show!) So […]
Thankyou, Internet! Many of the world’s most famous photographs have been recreated in Lego. So at last, the world’s great photographs can be appreciated by people who refuse to look at non-brick-based artforms. Tianamen has never been so square! It’s Tianamen Block! What a bunch of evil bricks. Doesn’t look all that consensual to me. […]
A new book reveals that former Russian president Boris Yeltsin once got so drunk in Washington that he was found outside the White House in his underpants trying to hail a taxi to go and buy a pizza. He was embarrassed – he had no idea that Clinton had stolen his toga. Yeltsin was so […]
Parliament just keeps getting crasser. Labor backbencher Nick Champion said that Malcolm Turnbull’s refusal to rule out a return to Work Choices was like “a fart in an elevator”. That’s assuming anyone would get into an elevator with Malcolm Turnbull in the first place. But describing Turnbull’s silence as like a “fart in an elevator” […]
McDonald’s are combining forces with a local church to oppose a neighbourhood brothel. Minister: “It’s so close, you can almost reach around & touch it with your hand.” And if anyone knows about being touched by young kids with a reacharound… I don’t see what’s wrong with a priest going to McDonald’s to show how […]