Seven models will act as spies and report in other models who have eating disorders or are being bullied. They’ll be like Charlie’s Angels, but without all the kickboxing, karate, gadgetry, explosions and other things that actually make it interesting. / but with four extra girls who just stand around looking pretty. Of course, their […]
Category: Good News Week
British PM Gordon Brown hopes to revive Britain’s honours system to reward sports stars throughout the Commonwealth. Because nothing would restore the prestige of the knighthood more than giving one to Warnie. Warnie has already put his hand up, claiming that he deserves to be a knight, since he’s already got such a well-polished lance. […]
The South Australian government has created a new series of ads targeting Britain, with hard-sell slogans like “Sod London house prices” and “Screw working in Staines, hello Adelaide.” The government’s strategy is, if people are going to want to live in Adelaide, they have to be really pissed off first. The South Australian government has […]
German research shows that tattoos may be a better way of delivering new DNA vaccines than standard injections. Tattooing works by proving to the diseases that you’re really tough. Diseases get scared off by how big and tough you are, so they go and attack a wussier target. This, of course, is great news for […]
On May 31, Copenhagen is hosting a Masturbate-A-Thon, which organisers hope will help break lingering taboos about self-love. Wouldn’t it be catchier to call it a Wankathon? We’ll tell you more news about the event as it comes to hand… Last time the “mingle” rooms had to be closed down when all the horny men […]
REMINDERS Right now, the Oscars are on, and Paris Hilton is still banned from attending. She’s probably still crying “hot, salty tears” – well, we have to assume they’re tears. Her cheeks were certainly covered in something hot and salty. On Wednesday, Ben Cousins is going to be getting the crap beaten out of him […]
Yes, these are a week late… but you see some of them related to this week’s stories. See we often tape two episodes at a time and then replace the end jokes of the second episode with more up to date ones just before they go to air. If that sounds confusing, good, it’s probably […]
PM Kevin Rudd is calling for a more respectful Parliament. He hopes that, if the politicians respect each other, there’s some chance that the general populace might one day respect politicians. The language of parliament will be changed: instead of referring to each other as “loathsome maggots” and “lying weasels”, they’ll have to call each […]
The US military claims children as young as 10 are being trained by al-Qaeda as killers. It’s “Jihad Trek: The Next Generation”. Their recruiting technique is to ask “Hey little boy, want to play soldiers in the world’s biggest sandpit?” Al Qaida has been recruiting boys as young as ten to use as suicide bombers […]
A new study shows what families have known all along – that a woman about to give birth loses a significant amount of her memory. Otherwise, she’d never do it again. A new study shows what families have known all along – that a pregnant woman loses a significant amount of her memory. But this […]