Archive for the 'The Sideshow' Category

Xander and Xorctron

Thursday, September 25th, 2008

G’day again, Firstly, pleased to announce the birth of Alexander Holt shortly after that last post. All is going well so far. The family’s had a surprisingly smooth transition to being a four-piece, though my workload’s about to get a lot less flexible with the return to GNW writing next week, so if there are […]

The Sideshow: the final monologue

Thursday, December 6th, 2007

Hello everyone, here we are for the final posting of material from The Sideshow. Thanks for watching and/or reading. At this stage we’re not sure what next year may hold, so this blog will probably return to irregular postings for a while. I’ll be back before the end of the year with some sort of […]

The Sideshow Ep. 24: monologue material

Thursday, November 22nd, 2007

Apologies for the late update, everyone at Chez Holt is feeling a bit under the gastro. Urky. Anyway in case you missed last week’s late late late show, we wrote a number of captions for election campaign photos a bit like the old Glass House Rogues Gallery. Means this week’s blog will be a bit […]

The Sideshow Ep. 23: monologue material

Tuesday, November 13th, 2007

Please note that the second last Sideshow this Saturday night is on at the extra-unspecial time of 11:25pm! Regular jokestream is now being resumed… Speaking at a campaign rally, Peter Costello’s wife Tanya said most people only saw the Treasurer, not the man she fell in love with. She sees someone “who cares deeply about […]

Sideshow sidles off to the side…

Monday, November 5th, 2007

G’day folks, Not sure if you’ve heard, but the ABC have decided not to recommission “The Sideshow” for 2008. Kind of deja vuey to what happened to “The Glass House” last year. We’re a little sad but we shall soldier on to new and hopefully greater things next year. What those things are at this […]

The Sideshow Ep. 22: monologue material

Monday, November 5th, 2007

Family First has dumped candidate Andrew Quah after photos of him flashing in the mirror were emailed around the country. He’s furious – those photos were only intended to be circulated amongst party members… Andrew Quah, a Family First candidate, has been dumped after photos of him “parading his private parts” were emailed around the […]

The Sideshow Ep 21: monologue material

Tuesday, October 30th, 2007

Tonight, bearded men, one-ball jugglers and other spectacles to rival the Prime Ministerial debate. Tonight, grass growing, paint drying and other spectacles to rival the Prime Ministerial debate. Tonight, a worm that turns, a talking mandarin, and other oddities we saw in last week’s Prime Ministerial debate. Last Sunday saw Howard vs Rudd in a […]

The Sideshow Ep 20: monologue material

Tuesday, October 23rd, 2007

Tonight, a man who can lift elephants, a woman who can swallow trams, and basically anything else you want if it’s going to help someone get elected. Kevin Rudd launched his campaign under the slogan “New Leadership”, as “Same Old Leadership” was already taken… Kevin Rudd launched his campaign under the slogan “New Leadership”, because […]

The Sideshow Ep 19: monologue material

Tuesday, October 16th, 2007

A controversial Christian leader, who advocates the destruction of mosques, casinos and bottle shops, says God told him to spend “personal time” with John Howard. Hopefully God wants to add Howard to the pile of mosques, casinos and bottleshops… God needed “personal time” to speak with Howard through Pastor Danny Nalliah – after all, he […]

The Butterfly Ball and a bunch of new vids

Tuesday, October 9th, 2007

G’day folks, Been ages since we’ve just sat down and nattered. Sorry about that. The big news around these parts is that after many years of applying, I’ve finally been lucky enough to get government funding (from Film Victoria) for one of my feature film projects – The Butterfly Ball. Now if the name seems […]

The Sideshow Ep. 18: monologue material

Tuesday, October 9th, 2007

A British reverend has likened John Howard to the man who ordered the execution of Jesus. I disagree; Howard would never order Jesus be executed. He’d be detained indefinitely on Christmas Island instead, which for Jesus means a non-stop birthday party! But Howard would never order the execution of Jesus. He’d get a minister to […]

The Sideshow Ep. 17: monologue material

Sunday, September 30th, 2007

Tonight – bearded ladies, sword swallowers and other names for Liberal ministers. Smears! Last week, a story circulated about Kevin Rudd having heart surgery. Now there’s a rumour about a married govt. minister who is secretly gay, visits bath houses and is having an affair with one of his male staffers. In particular, one of […]

The Sideshow Ep. 16: monologue material

Sunday, September 23rd, 2007

Kevin Rudd’s launched his election campaign already. In fact he’s so sure of becoming PM now that he thought he was able to announce the election date himself. John Howard’s still stretching out the date of the election as he heads towards the three year mark of this term. I think he’s hoping that if […]

The Sideshow Episode 15: monologue material

Wednesday, September 19th, 2007

Howard’s language and image seems to have changed as he desperately tries to appeal to younger voters. After the APEC cultural showcase, John Howard used these words: “I felt stoked that my country had such talented artists.” When asked about the conference in general, he said that “APEC totally owns”, and that (mime turntables) “wikiwikiwikiwikiworld […]

The Sideshow Ep. 14: monologue material

Tuesday, September 11th, 2007

APEC SCHMAPEC The APEC summit has finally delivered a knockout punch to climate change. The leaders agreed to a non-binding agreement, still to be ratified, agreeing on non-specific targets for the in-principle reduction of unspecified greenhouse gasses over a generally gradual time at some stage in the not-too-distant future. Perhaps. All agreed that global warming […]

The Sideshow Ep. 13: monologue material

Wednesday, September 5th, 2007

THE HORROR OF APEC Imagine living in a backward dictatorship where police can randomly body-search anyone they like, where they can detain people without any bail or even an actual charge, and where they can stop the public from entering public spaces – using concrete walls and water cannons! Well, imagine no more – welcome […]

The Sideshow Ep. 12: monologue material

Tuesday, August 28th, 2007

And it’s been revealed that Kevin Rudd was stumbling drunk in a New York strip club 4 years ago. Of course, this will change many people’s opinion of him: now he’s PM for sure! Of course, this has changed many people’s opinion of him: the latest polls show that people will only vote for him […]

The Sideshow Ep. 11: monologue material

Monday, August 20th, 2007

Well, we’re back at the all-new time of 9:25 Saturday nights… and that means more blog posts of Mat & Wok’s weekly brain dump. Here’s last week’s material for the stories that went to air. John Howard, Australia’s own Master of the Ring, has stamped his tiny foot and told the Iraqi government to work […]

The Sideshow: soon to return at a later time + Ep. 10 monologue material

Monday, June 25th, 2007

Hi folks, well, looks like we’ve got a bit of time off… in case you didn’t see it, the show is on a break and will return on Saturday August 18th at the new time of 9:30pm. The show is scheduled to return to the 7:30 timeslot later in the year. (UPDATE 9/7/07: It now […]

The Sideshow Ep. 9: monologue material

Sunday, June 17th, 2007

In the US, anti-terror chiefs have hired a team of science-fiction writers to dream up new techniques to win the war on terror. After all, it is a fictional war on an imaginary enemy. The Americans have been great at inventing vibrant characters, bizarre plotlines and fabricated evidence, they just need a bit of help […]