Cairns residents are worried for their children after a giant scrub python devoured a full-size wallaby with a joey in its pouch. Mmmm… the joey’s the juiciest bit! / most tender part! / best part! The joey made a delightful entree! After a python swallowed an entire wallaby with joey, Cairns residents are concerned for […]
Month: March 2008
Former PM John Howard has continued to argue that an apology to the stolen generations was misguided. He’d prefer an apology to the stolen parliamentarians. / an apology for being so rudely kicked out of office. The former PM said the apology could create a sense of the indigenous box being “ticked”, when his government […]
The executive director of the UN’s office on Drugs and Crime says that some stars are sending the wrong message on drugs. Well, that’s probably why they sent the wrong message then. They’re on drugs. The executive director of the UN’s office on Drugs and Crime says that some stars are sending the wrong message […]
Kevin Rudd is embarking on his first world tour, taking in the US, Europe and China during 17 days of travel. He’ll travel in his own private zeppelin, with a non-stop supply of iced vovos and pole dancers. Kevin Rudd is embarking on a world tour, taking in the US, Europe and China. Apparently China […]
Barack Obama has rebuffed Hillarys Clinton’s suggestion that he’d make a great Vice-President, or as she’s suggesting calling the position, Presidential Slave. / Chief Slave. / Superslave. / King of the Slaves. / Uncle Tom. Hillary has suggested that a Clinton-Obama combination would be “a dream ticket”. Yeah. In her dreams. Hillary has suggested that […]
Opposition Leader Brendan Nelson said he’d work towards the merger of the Liberal and National parties into a single conservative entity, to be known as The Losers. They want to form one party, as having the combined votes of 2 parties and still losing so resoundingly is just really embarrassing. They want to form one […]
Arnold Schwarzeneggar wants his tank back. And he wouldn’t mind his robot skeleton back too. The tank was only ever on loan; Arnie had always said he’d be back. Arnold Schwarzeneggar wants his tank back. And if they say no, he’ll TAKE it back. Seeing the Austrian tank again has made him nostalgic. One day, […]
Men are doing more housework, and are getting laid more often. Which, of course, is the only reason they’re doing the housework. / Proving men will do anything for a shag. It’s certainly more productive than buying stupid roses. This way, men get a root and the dishes get done. Therapists say there is a […]
A US man had a friend shoot him in the shoulder so that he could get out of work. He really hates casual Friday. Ironically, he’s been fired. / The man has now been fired. Sounds weird to us, but American bosses wouldn’t believe a sickie unless it came with a gunshot wound. Well, it […]
Tues, March 18 Tomorrow, Brendan Nelson will address the National Press Club on behalf of the mumblemumble Party. Tomorrow, Brendan Nelson will address the National Press Club on behalf of whatever party he’s representing at the moment. Tomorrow, Brendan Nelson will address the National Press Club – tickets are still available. In fact, ALL the […]