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Good News Week

$308 million to be Batman (Good News Week 28/7/08: Warren)

The author of a new book on Batman estimates the cost of being a real-life Batman would be 308 million dollars. Though you could be Robin for a couple of thou. To be a real-life Batman, you’d need to be one of the world’s richest people. Or a master criminal! Lucky he’s actually multimillionaire Bruce […]

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Good News Week

McCain the luddite (Good News Week 28/7/08: Warren)

US Presidential candidate John McCain has admitted he never uses email and has to be shown websites. In fact he doesn’t even own a computator. / one of those adding machines. He says he doesn’t use the internet. In fact, he gave up interfishing years ago. It’s no big deal. The current president can’t even […]

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Good News Week

AnaeSithic (Good News Week 28/7/08: So You Think You Can Mime)

In the UK, a Star Wars fan watched Revenge of the Sith instead of having a general anaesthetic during a double knee joint-replacement operation. Because when you see Anakin Skywalker burnt to a crisp after losing both legs and an arm, a bit of a dicky knee doesn’t seem so bad after all. Watching the […]

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Good News Week

Schoolgirls harass construction workers (Good News Week 28/7/08: So You Think You Can Mime)

British high school girls who have been wolf-whistling at construction workers have been warned to stop. See, it starts with school girls showing a bit of plumbers’ crack, and look where it ends. British high school girls who have been wolf-whistling at construction workers have been warned to stop. And you can see the footage […]

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Good News Week

Alcoholic, suicidal, depressing entertainment (Good News Week 28/7/08: 5 second grab)

A survey showing that Australian films were too depressing for audiences has been released by the Film Finance Corporation, just weeks prior to it being amalgamated into Screen Australia. If only it had had a happy ending. Australian films are too depressing to draw crowds. But no wonder Aussie filmmakers are depressed – have you […]

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Good News Week

Lifelike-savers (Good News Week 28/7/08: Strange But True)

Gympie police frantically smashed car windows to rescue a seemingly unconscious baby, only to discover it was an extremely lifelike doll. They were so frustrated they arrested the baby whose doll it was. Gympie police frantically smashed car windows to rescue a seemingly unconscious baby, only to discover it was an extremely lifelike doll. So […]

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Good News Week

Oil crisis = whore crisis (Good News Week 28/7/08: Strange But True)

American brothels have had a huge slump in business due to the oil crisis. Turns out blokes don’t need sex as badly as they need petrol to get there. The price of crude, stops ‘em getting rude. All over America blokes who are no longer able to afford to get their rocks off, are instead […]

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Good News Week

Good Next Week (Good News Week 28/7/08: closing)

Tues, July 29 Tomorrow sees the release of a national survey of adult oral health. Apparently it’s healthier if you spit. Toothpaste, people, toothpaste. Tomorrow sees the release of a national survey of adult oral health. Needless to say, it’s an oral survey. Tomorrow is NASA’s 50th anniversary. In a statement to mark the occasion, […]

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Good News Week

The Relaity Behined the Headlions (Good News Week 14/7/08: monologue)

Some unusual news stories on TV this week. (Play “gulity” clip.) You can tell he was gulity. He had that gulity look in his eeys. Although the man has been found gulity, the judge is still finding it difficult to pass an appropriate sentence. Or even use the word “gulity” in an appropriate sentence. He’s […]

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Good News Week

Your GPS controls your car (Good News Week 14/7/08: What’s the Story)

The NSW Government is trialling an in-car GPS system that cuts off fuel flow to engines when it detects the driver is speeding. And when it detects another driver is speeding, it automatically flips them the bird. / it automatically honks, flips them the bird, overtakes them, slows right down, gets out, and throws the […]