Month: November 2009

Queensland MPs who misbehave now face up to an hour in the “sin bin”. Sounds like their wettest dreams come true. I always thought the “sin-bin” was where they stashed the coke when Kevin walks in. I preferred it in the old days, when you could give politicians the cane. / Pah – I wanna […]

The NSW Government is considering a plan to sentence graffiti vandals to community service with senior citizens. Ah yes, forcing teenagers and pensioners to speak – that make should everyone happy. Jail time doesn’t seem to work, so they’re hoping instead a few hours in the company of dementia-riddled seniors will crush their spirits. They’re […]

Prince William’s coming to Australia, for the first time in his adult life. I guess this time we won’t have to worry about making sure we have extra nappies. Shame it wasn’t Harry – we could’ve just had a massive pissup. Prince William is coming! Time for all you pampered princesses out there to get […]

Kevin Rudd picked the winner of the Melbourne Cup, Shocking. Rudd hasn’t been that thrilled since he was given the right meal on the plane. So clearly if he’s tipped us to triumph in Afghanistan, we’re going to damn well triumph in Afghanistan! Rudd was flabbergasted. He had just been explaining that he was shocking […]

Telstra had introduced a $2.20 fee for paying bills at the post office, but scrapped it after being told it was unfair and cruel. So they now have introduced a “cruelty fee” instead. You know, so it’s all above board. Telstra had introduced a $2.20 fee for paying bills at the post office, but scrapped […]

Mel Gibson’s new fiancée has given birth to his eighth child, which Gibson has already said makes him “Octo-Mel”. Yes, Octo-Mel, spreading his childish tentacles out into the world to capture Jews! He ended up with a baby girl. So this one’s not the messiah – maybe next time. He really wanted to father the […]

The oil leak and fireball at the West Atlas drill rig has been stopped, 10 weeks after it started in the Timor Sea. But government sources say it’ll require some more permanent work before we can settle Sri Lankan refugees there. The government wasn’t that pleased that the fire was stopped, as it took away […]

It’s a year since the election of Barack Obama. What a disappointment – America voted for change, and yet he’s still there! Well, he was elected on a platform of “Hope”. And the moment you do something, it crushes the hope right out of it. Well, he was elected on a platform of “Hope”. As […]

Disney has won approval to construct a Disneyland-style theme park in Shanghai. There have been some minor changes. For instance, Mickey has been renamed Puny Western Mouse. All the classic Disney icons will still be there, but in slightly different forms. For instance, Mickey is a member of the government, Donald is in the military, […]

Australians are paying up to $1500 for tickets to see Britney Spears mime. She’ll be doing all her hits, like “Oops!… I’m Walking Against The Wind” and “If You Seek The Exit To This Glass Box That Would Be Very Helpful”. People don’t mind seeing her mime. In fact, one of the chief attractions of […]