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Glass House

Batman vs Bin Laden (The Glass House 1/3/06)

Batman is set battle Osama bin Laden in Frank Miller’s new graphic novel Holy Terror, Batman! Good to see someone‘s still chasing him… In the comic, mild-mannered Al Qaeda is bitten by a radioactive Koran, and turns into… OSAMAMAN. Dubya thinks it’s a great idea. “I don’t know where they’ve put the Bat-phone, but as […]

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Glass House

All the news that’s fit to blab (The Glass House 22/2/06)

DEAD CENTRELINK Centrelink has agreed to overhaul its records after an audit found almost 1.5 million of its clients are dead. No wonder they’re unemployed… Bloody dole bludgers, lying around all day, decomposing… Rather than correct the mistake, Centrelink are launching a new initiative: “Rot For The Dole”. Apparently half of the people who work […]

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Glass House

Aussies hate Yanks (The Glass House 22/2/06)

The latest global poll of opinions about the USA found 60% of Australians have a negative opinion of America, while only 29% are positive. That’s dropped from 40% positive the year before; but that was probably back when we still thought they wouldn’t vote for that douchebag president again. Even though only 29% of Australians […]

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Glass House

Assault by light tap on the shoulder (The Glass House 22/2/06)

Australian tourist Pauline Clayton has escaped with a minimal fine after pleading guilty to assaulting a Texan woman by tapping her on the shoulder. The court case was a fiery affair; the woman later charged the stenographer with multiple counts of aggravated assault on her stenograph. The incident occurred during a screening of Brokeback Mountain […]

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Glass House

You can’t take it with you, so spend it (The Glass House 22/2/06)

Only 23 per cent of Australian workers plan to leave savings intact to pass on to their children, making Australia one of the stingiest nations on Earth. Except when it comes to wheat kickbacks of course. 30% of Aussie retirees actively seek pleasure, while the other 70% just sit in their armchairs and wait for […]

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Glass House

Holding Hands to Health (The Glass House 22/2/06)

Scientists have discovered that holding hands with your partner causes immediate relief and lowers stress levels. This may have seemed obvious to you and I, but scientists discovered it by electrocuting women. Yeah, good work guys. An alternative explanation is that by holding hands the women are just halving the amount of current passing through […]

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Glass House

2nd-rate Media Watch (The Glass House 22/2/06)

NEWS FOOTAGE: BACKYARD WRESTLING; KIDS BREAK FLUORO TUBES, JUMP OFF LADDERS & BASH EACH OTHER WITH FOLDING CHAIRS Add a wacky sound-effect and that wins Funniest Home Videos for sure. I don’t why they used the bleep instead of the usual “ba-doing!” They’re just playing an updated version of “Cops & Robbers”: “Guantanamo Bay Guards […]

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Film Glass House News

Welcome back & The Glass House 2005 Remix

Greetings subjects, Welcome to the 06 blog postings. Like last year, most posts will consist of the raw material that Mat and I write for The Glass House. Plus the occasional post on something else going on in the Empire or elsewhere on the interweb. One thing Glass House fans may enjoy is a little […]

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Glass House

While we were out… (The Glass House 15/2/06)

Muslims worldwide riot over insulting cartoon depictions of Mohammed. They say he deserves nothing less than the highest-quality CGI. Riots over cartoon depictions of Mohammed cause a hitch in Disney’s production of Mohammed and the Seven Virgins / Shrek 3: Allah Fucks a Pig. Muslims riot over cartoon depictions of Mohammed they say they are […]

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Glass House

Fans fund films (The Glass House 15/2/06)

A UK company is filming a new scheme to fund movies by offering investors who pay between ten and a hundred pounds a copy of the DVD, an executive producer credit and a chance to become an extra. Over 1.6 million people have signed up – that’s gunna make their coffee-shop scene pretty crowded. It’s […]