A BBC children’s show has changed the words of Humpty Dumpty to give it a happy ending. They’ve also decided he isn’t an egg – there’s no way you’re getting that fixed. It may be easy to put Humpty together again, but try doing that to a real egg. It’s not going to happen, no […]
Month: November 2009
A Brisbane researcher may have found a therapy for gluten intolerance – hookworms! They just love gluten! The parasite burrows through the skin before travelling via the bloodstream to live in your gut. Or if you want to take the gluten and the cure in one go, just chow down on a hookworm sandwich. Sure, […]
A British travel firm is planning a transatlantic cruise that will retrace the Titanic’s steps on its hundredth anniversary in 2012. It’s already selling well – trips to Atlantis are a real rarity. The Titanic Memorial Cruise will depart from Southampton on April 8, retrace the Titanic’s steps, and one week later arrive at the […]
A local beer has launched itself with a controversial campaign featuring a girl called Ho White smoking in bed with seven semi-naked dwarves. Who needs a handsome prince? Aw, look! It’s like tiny little rugby league! The idea is that the beer isn’t as sweet as people expect. It actually tastes like dwarf semen. The […]
Tuesday, November 03 Tomorrow’s Melbourne Cup Day, the world’s only holiday for midget racing. The race that stops a nation, the Melbourne Cup, shocks the world when the nation just keeps going. The event that stops a nation, the Melbourne Cup, shocks punters when it turns out just to be some horse race. / a […]
The world reckons Australia is not as good as we think we are. A new survey shows that we’re more positive about ourselves than any other nation, but other nations rank us considerably lower on business, culture and social welfare. But you know us Aussies. We love being the underdog. Sure, we may be a […]
The Northern Territory has proposed fining people six and a half thousand dollars for begging. And with the begging they’ll need to do to afford the fines, they’ll soon be in debt to the tune of millions. To afford the fines, some beggars may need to close their businesses, or at least lay off some […]
Researchers at the University of NSW have found that British backpackers may be driving the spread of sexually-transmitted infections in Australia. Just like they used to do with scurvy and smallpox. Researchers at the University of NSW have found that British backpackers may be driving the spread of sexually-transmitted infections in Australia. Although they still […]
Former Liberal leader Brendan Nelson tendered his resignation and thanked his constituents with a roadside sign. Although, seeing as he had the worst popularity as a leader in Australian history, he probably could’ve saved time by thanking each supporter individually. On one side, the sign read “Thank You”. The other side read “…For Nothing, Ya […]
The new Australian citizenship test has dropped questions about Australian sporting heroes. Don Bradman still gets a mention as the “greatest cricketer of all time”, but now that’s only in the pledge. Unfortunately it’s meant a drop in citizenship applications, as many people just wanted to live here for the cricket trivia. Instead of cricket […]