The Opposition have accused Kevin Rudd of forming committees rather than making decisions, saying he’d formed 25 committees in his first hundred days of office. Rudd immediately said he’d look into it, forming the Committee Committee. / Rudd established a committee to look into it. / Rudd immediately formed another 25 committees to look into […]
Month: March 2008
Alcohol ads should be banned before 9pm, says Family First Senator Steve Fielding. Of course, he was very drunk at the time… Family First senator Steve Fielding wants to ban alcohol advertising on TV before 9pm. What, even on weekends? Senator, that’s unAustralian! Family First senator Steve Fielding wants to ban daytime alcohol ads, sex […]
Kevin Rudd and Brendan Nelson have agreed on an 18 month pay freeze for all Parliamentarians. It’s all very well for Rudd to freeze his salary when he just got a $100,000 raise for becoming PM. Plus the enormous raise in POWER. Kevin Rudd and Brendan Nelson have agreed on an 18 month pay freeze […]
A group of students is lobbying to be allowed to carry guns to protect themselves against campus gunmen. Honestly, these people are stupid and must be killed. Hey, that gives me an idea… They also believe everyone who doesn’t carry a weapon should be terminated. It’s for their own good. Bush approves. It’s like a […]
Cops in Budapest are taking ballet lessons. Not only will the lessons develop their muscle strength and make their movements more graceful, but it enables passersby to clearly see the outline of their penises. Since they’ve started the lessons, there’s been a marked increase in the apprehension of criminal swans. While it does make traffic […]
A 15 year old Adelaide student has proven that fish have memories of at least six days, contrary to the rumour that their memories were three seconds. Huh, as if they could survive with… only a… Sorry, what was I talking about? Goldfish have released a press release, saying “it’s about time our memory was […]
Lleyton and Rove complained that the magazine just make things up. And then, according to the Womans’ Weekly, they went off and had a drug-crazed sexy nightclub romp with the Olsen Twins – and gained 10 kilos! Rove McManus and Lleyton Hewitt have accused Women’s Day of making up stories about them. Apparently they never […]
Keira Knightley has revealed she had her boobs painted on for her buxom role in Pirates of the Caribbean. She’s actually a man. / And they digitally removed nearly all of her cock. / And they digitally removed her five-o’clock-shadow. Make-up artists also did a great job of concealing her beard. Not only did Keira […]
A song audible only to dogs has topped New Zealand record charts. Not to suggest that New Zealanders are unusually close to their dogs. They just prefer a bit of quiet time. / It’s just a nice break from all the sheep. The song can’t be heard by humans, which is just as well – […]
Tues, March 4 The outcome from latest meeting of the Reserve Bank will be that they’re still a buncha bankers. The Reserve Bank will make another decision on interest rates. Pray they don’t raise them, or mortgage stress will hit hard, and MPs might have to lose the limo. The Texas & Ohio presidential primaries […]